We used to have a decent relationship but since my father died from Alzheimer's five years ago, my siblings/their spouse, and other flying monkeys have gotten her convinced that I am the devil and she is actively ruining my life in every way imaginable. My brother 2 years ago took his life leaping from her balcony and somehow I have been identified as the cause of everything bad. I am not getting openly accused, just the silent treatment but these gatekeepers are allowing/enabling her to make business decisions based on her narcissistic need to destroy her own child. My question is if she has her own attorney and it is evident that she isn't all there and I'm being generous, what can I do about reversing some of the amazingly spiteful things she is doing to me every day she wakes?
What business decisions is she making with a dementia diagnosis?
If its inheritance you are worried about whats more important that or your mental health. I would cut all ties at this point. Tell everyone your going incognito for a while. Block every one. You are not going to win this one.
https://www.identifyandheal.co.uk/adult-scapegoat-daughter/
"Siblings are an integral part of narcissistic supply for the narcissistic mother. The Adult Scapegoat Daughter due to her position of vulnerability and powerlessness as a child, becomes the target for her siblings and mothers psychological cohesion into adulthood. All of the behaviours and emotional distress that we were subjected to by our siblings and mother during childhood, do not just vanish in a puff of smoke as we reach womanhood, unfortunately. Sadly adulthood for the scapegoated daughter in a narcissistic family does not change, it in fact becomes worse.
Our siblings will go to great lengths to damage our self-confidence and self-worth, to fortify their own. They are forever imprinted and conditioned by narcissistic mother to try to undermine and compete with us in any way, shape or form that they are able to, and their jealousy and envy of the scapegoat runs deep and it never diminishes. This abuse can present in many forms, both covertly and overtly."
There is safety in no contact, and living your best life possible.
You might benefit by some counseling to put things in perspective because even though your mother is very ill, she is dangerous to you. A therapist can help you decide if you need your own attorney. Or, if you cannot just walk away , how to save your own life.
You matter, your feelings matter. A person is not the devil, cannot be the devil.
Then step out of her life and let your siblings do the caregiving.
It really CAN be that simple!
She has personality disorders and ADD but if she's of sound mind, well that's her decision as to how to "enjoy" her life. Which is, without you. I realize she made it in selfishness, but this gets you off the hook in the future.
Tell her it's her decision, but don't expect to come back to you when she messes it up.
If your mother (or anyone else) is slandering you or interfering with your ability to make a living or lead a peaceful life, you should start by engaging a lawyer to send her a cease and desist letter.