Money matters causing problems already. Am I looking at this wrong?


I posted a couple days ago about my older brother who's worked out a deal with my dad to be compensated three days pay for cutting back his work week from five days to two days a week so he'll be available more to help dad out with his shopping, dr appts and such.

I'm dad's DPOA so I've helped dad and my brother come up with an ammount that was fair to both which included dad paying my brother the equivelent of his gross (before taxes) to help make up for any overtime my bros giving up and any taxes he'd normally get in a tax refund. That's not a problem with me.

However, after it was all worked out between us over the phone my brother said that his boss is always needing people to help so he'll probably still volunteer to work an extra couple of days a week beyond the two days a week he's going to be scheduled. He's looking at it as if dad is paying him for three days, and if he works 4 for his job, he'll be making nearly twice what he was making. That is a problem for me.

I was not happy with this and told him so. I explained that, although I appreciate that he's there and willing to help out dad, I do not believe dad is paying him so he can free up three more days in the week to be available to help dad if he needs it, only to have him pick two of those days back up so he can be making more money leaving him less time to be available to dad.

The way I see it, this money he's getting paid is coming from our inheritance (his, our younger brother's, and mine). Both my younger brother and I are all for dad paying him to go part time, increasing his ability to check in on dad and take him to dr. appts, rehab and shopping. However, are we unreasonable to expect him to be available to help dad if he should need it and not be working nearly as much as he was working before this arrangement?

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Paying him only for the days' he works for dad wouldn't be fair to him, because it could be that one week dad only has 1 physical therapy session and 1 doctors appt and needs to go to the grocery store once. Total ...say 8 hours. Then the next week dad may need to go someplace every day, lab, tests at the hospital, two or three dr appts, etc...maybe 18 hours...the next week maybe only 5 hours worked. If he pays him only by what hours he works, it may not be enough.

What dad wants is for him to be available and not to have to worry about rushing off to work on a day when he has appointments or wants to go to the store. That was the whole idea of his paying him the difference between him working 5 days a week and only two days a week.

I think my brother thinking he can pick up an extra two days a week from his boss after he goes to part time is making himself not available to dad and so not at all what dad's paying him for. I think you're right StandingAlone, In saying my brother is making it unfair for dad. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one seeing it that way.

I love my brother, and he's often well meaning, but he's oftentimes clueless too (how many out there have brothers like that?)

I have a feeling with money entering into this, I'm going to have a lot of questions for you guys going forward. I'm also thinking I'm going to be doing a lot of refereeing between dad and my brother. Hope you guys will be here to help as you have so far! You're a wise bunch! Thanks!
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Your brother seems like he's trying to change the rules after the deal was already made... What Veronica said. Pay him for the days he works for your dad, and that's it. He shouldn't get paid for days he's supposed to be available for your dad, only for him to go to work at the job and make that money, too...I wouldn't accept it. If he's going to do that, he doesn't get the amount you agreed on. I mean, what else? No, now your brother is making things unfair.
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No. Pay brother by the days that he actually works for Dad. Would dad be able to keep track of it?
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