WE made sure one of us is spending Sunday with her. Plus we often take her for shopping and also to all family event. We organized 3 days at the local day center for elderly people for her to go, and she loves it! She gets 3 hours of help (cleaning or cooking or shopping) twice a week, and gets someone to give her a bath once a week. She gets lunch delivered to her every day. We schedule and go with her to her doctor's visits. We call her often.
She appreciates it all and is so open to know more people. But the thing is that her needs keep on multiplying. She's getting forgetful and sometimes confused. We (her 10 children) all live at 90 minutes away or more. We tried 3-4 winters to have her with one of us, but she is too sad being alone in any of our houses while we are at work
She maintains that she is fine living by herself in her house. We are no longer so sure of that. Until now, it has worked because we are doing a lot to make her able to live by herself. We are getting to feel that she's expecting too much from us. He desire to live at her house is costing us a lot of time, energy and worries.
And, this is hard to say, she is less and less nice. She yells at the cashier, throws something at the floor when she is not happy, she says hurtful things when she disagrees about something. She has always been very blunt, but so charming too. I don't know where this charm went. It's like she's having tantrums. She is getting more difficult to be with. It is as if she could not care less of acting out. Is this a beginning of dementia? It is as if she is allowing herself to be "naughty", unpleasant. She's not always like that, but too often to dismiss.
I miss her. And it makes me sad to see people finding her so unpleasant.