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She gets mad if helped. What to do keep from fussing?

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Abrackeen
It sounds like your mom has short term memory loss. Can you remember not to correct her? It’s hard isn’t it? And you probably don’t have short term memory loss.
You have to play games with yourself sometimes. To distract yourself from being short with her.
Always agree and be pleasant and calmly give her the steps like it’s the first time.
See if you can get some physical therapy for her if it’s been two years. That can help both of you. Sometimes we pick up pointers when we watch the professionals.
A couple of things you might consider. Go on YouTube and search for Teepa Snow. She is an effective teacher for caretakers dealing with dementia and has short videos on how to handle situations. Watch a few and see if you see anything that seems familiar.
Also pick up the book “ Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande. It’s a great read on Aging in America. Not about dementia but helpful to keep focused on what’s important.
Your mom might benefit from a visit with a geriatric psychiatrist and a geriatric primary.
Information on how old your mom is and any other health issues she may have can be helpful in giving you better answers.
Oh and be sure to give yourself a hug for being such a caring child and giving her your best.

edit.
A good point about the dementia being vascular that Barb made. It seems to move slower and there are good days and bad days. She may seem herself one minute and the next not so much.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Has your mom been evaluated for Vascular Dementia? There is often a significant loss of thinking, reasoning and memory skills post stroke.

Please get a behavioral neurologist or geriatric psychiatrist to weigh in on this. Her regular PCP may not have the training to competently evaluate her.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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