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Such as "did I take my medications" or "did so and so bring me a gift for my birthday", "what day is today", etc. It is really starting to wear on her live in aide of 5 years. So I was just wondering how other caregivers cope with this frustrating situation? I am trying to address what I can. I purchased some large print calendars. I am also buying a large clock for the room she spends most of her time in. As far as the meds go, it usually occurs at night. After she takes her meds she will keep asking if she had them. Any ideas of how the aide should handle it?

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geo, the thing with you mother made me think about something mine does. She says "huh?" after everything I say. Then I repeat myself and she said she heard me. She said she doesn't know why she said huh, that it has just gotten to be a habit. I tell her she must do it just to drive me crazy.

My mother is hard of hearing, so I don't know if the huh? is real or not. ARGH!! It gets old repeating everything.
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Redhead got me thinking about this:
I've been noticing something else with my mom -- she asks the same questions, too, and kind of realizes she's doing it, but realized it's gotten to be a bad habit. She and I think she's looking for some kind of reassurance. It's kind of a bad habit she's gotten into. Sometimes, she's fine if I don't answer. Other times, she gets a bit upset. But she and I realize it's not always because she's actually forgotten the thing that she's asking about. She thinks she even sometimes uses this as a greeting when I come into the room. Instead of "What's up?" she says "What day is it?"

I should add that her verbal skills are diminishing -- she literally can't think of the right words to use or the right phrases and sometimes says something different than what she really wants to say.
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I so know how you feel. Sounds like you've done a lot already . For the more difficult questions (long answer needed every 45") I wrote up the answers on cards and just handed it to him. Things like where he is, why he isn't at his own home and yes, yes pension was deposited in the bank.
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I literally just got on my computer and mom came in after peeing again. I really have tried all tricks to aid memory issues. Even had a composition books labeled "Mom's Notes". She got pissed when I told her to read it and it very brief. Y'all know KISS. Calendars, neon notes, I guess we're way past that stage. My only advice is to try and maintain a sense of humor when you'[re not working or crying. Sleep well all.
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Thanks everyone for all your input, its priceless. It's interesting I never thought of it as a way of interacting, perhaps a sign of boredom...... I hope to get her to go out of the house more nwo that the winter looks like it is finally near an end. I will share some of this with her aide, she's always open to new ideas.
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This situation might resolve if one didnt answer. But that's not possible. Perhaps it's not the actual answer that is sought, but company and reassurance. You cant not respond, because you will respond eventually. That's intermittent reward, the strongest reinforcement for such behavior. There's no way around this short of heavy sedation. View it as a call for interaction, not a real interest in the answer. Keeping them occupied, distracted - talking with others - may help.
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Wow! That is thoughtful of you to come here and seek advice for your aide.. Maybe you could have your aide join AC..
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One thing you can do is buy a whiteboard and put important bits of information on it, such as the date. Put it at wherever the person spends most of their time. You an put other notes, such as whether they took their morning pills for the day, etc... This is a tip from my Mom's memory clinic.

However, I have to keep reminding her to look at notes, clock, other things that would tell her the information she asks me. On a bad day, she'll literally forget to look at the clock and entirely lose track of time. So, none of this works all the time, either.

But the reality is probably that all you can do is help the person ask fewer questions, not get rid of the constant asking. And you also do it because, if they can see the information without waiting for someone to ask the question of, it might give the person some peace and they might not get so worked-up.
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HolyCow, your comment about shooting yourself reminds me of my trusty finger pistol. I have shot myself so many times. Thank goodness it isn't loaded. For some reason it helps me to relieve stress. Nice thing is I can carry it anywhere I go and I don't need a license. Of course, I use it out of the sight of anyone so they won't see how crazy I've become.
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I too live this nightmare every single day, all day long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes I think shooting myself would be less painful! This behavior is annoying beyond belief! My mother asks if the dog has been fed at least 30 times a day, wait could be upwards of 50! If I did not love this dog so much I would get rid of it, in hopes of stopping the questions. Of course then Mom would either still ask the question because she would not realize the dog was gone or switch to another question.

Perhaps you need to ask the doctor about a switch in medication? Our doctor told us that some are better at stopping the bad behaviors.

I have made signs and hung them everywhere. Mom tears them down and tosses them in the trash because "she is mad that I am making it sound like her memory is bad or that she is crazy." When I say Mom look at the sign on the cabinet, she says, "that sign doesn't mean a damn thing to me!" or "I don't want to read it, why can't you just open your mouth and answer my question!"

I hope you do not lose your care giver over this.....a good one is hard to find!
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OMG!!!I I go through this EVERY day and into the night. Full time, live in CG. I have posted neon notes, taped them to her door, "Yes Scarlett, you took your pills." I answer the same questions about 50x a day each. Do I want to scream??? Bought a calendar that was erasable, circled the day, gave up. She'd rather come to my room and wake me to ask. At least it's exercise. I'm an almost 60 year old woobie. (Mr. Mom). I pray for patience every night and few hours of REM sleep. Lots of luck to you and you aide.
Paula
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err -- correction above. Should be "day and date" on a stand.
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Excellent advice from Jeanne. The calendar and clock are excellent ideas. My father kept a little "station" that had the date and date on a stand. He would advance them himself each morning. My mother is an insulin-dependent diabetic. She takes two shots a day and puts a check mark on the calendar for each shot she takes. This lets her (and me) remember if she took her insulin.

I sympathize with hearing the same questions and stories, but the frustration goes down after a while. As Jeanne said, the easiest and best way is to answer the questions. It is so tempting to say, "I told you ... five minutes ago." This just makes everyone feel bad. I hope that your mother's aide is able to continue to work with her. It does take a lot of patience.
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"Yes, Clara, you took your meds at 6:45" ... "See, your pill box slot for the night pills is empty, yes you took them." ... "Yes. It is good of you to be remembering that you need them, but I gave them to you on time." and on and on.

It is generally less wearing to simply answer each question as if it were asked for the first time. Does this drive the answerer absolutely around the bend? Yes, it is VERY frustrating. But it is easy, and respectful. Just answer the question.

You are already anticipating some ways to reduce the questions. A large calendar. (My mother finds the date and day on the newspaper each day. We also write the date on her white board.) An oversized clock. You could make a pill chart with a square for each dose. The aide puts a big X in the square when the pills are taken. Then she can answer, "Yes, see, you took the evening pills already," pointing to the X. Mom might learn to look for the X herself.

You can reduce the frustration of the aide somewhat by these methods. I won't hold out a false promise that that will end the matter. Mom may just go on to other questions. Praise the aide for her patience. Sympathize with what she endures. But Mom can't help this behavior, so I hope you can both summon up the strength to continue to treat her with dignity. Answer her questions and divert her to another topic.

This is not easy! We all deserve medals!
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