Ok, i will start with my moms condition...my mother is in her late 60's, 2 strokes and lost the use of her left side, cant walk, overweight, incontinent, has troubles with bed sores, and she is constantly battling UTI's from the catheters and on antibiotics a lot.
I am her only family, which makes this so much harder! She lives with me and before the strokes she wasnt walking but could transfer herself and lived a somewhat normal life. After the strokes it has been rough, she is bed bound and having to change your mother is very hard mentally for a son. I have to work 2 jobs to afford the bills, but seems like my life revolves around before and after work, and coming home for lunch to care for her, my phone rings all day with supply companies, insurance companies, and talking to doctors, etc. i have no free time. I cant sleep much without having to get up and help her.
I'm in my mid 30's, I feel beaten down, gained weight, and i'm tired all the time, it is definitely taking a toll on me. But I feel guilty putting my mom in a nursing home. All she wants is to be home with me. But I also feel guilty wanting to go live my life and have my own family.
My mother is currently in a skilled nursing place for 30 days and is doing good, but I don't know if now is the time to keep her there or go back to trying to do it all myself. Recently I did hire a part time care taker during the day while im at work, but its still just me before and after work. Just not sure I can do this much longer. She is a wonderful mother and has done so much for me, and now she has all these health problems. I just want her to be happy and healthy. Am I slowly killing myself here?