As my husband gets worse with dementia, ptsd and alcohol, I find myself out of house due to threats to me and my dog. Angry calls telling me he'll break my family heirlooms that will make him feel better! Taking Uber rides to bar coming home drunk and being walked to door by driver. Which is the day I left when I saw Uber driver escorting him to door with loud talking back and forth. Got a call after I left that the police were just at my house to check on him. He asked why I called them. Well I didn’t the Uber driver did. I have been trying to get him evaluated at the VA and today is the day. He has mental health appointment and has allowed me to take him at which time I will see if he voluntarily will agree to be admitted. If not then I will have to run to a facility to get petition for involuntary commitment/evaluation. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. But I want him to be helped. I want him to be looked at before he goes back home. He already informed me that on the way home from VA today he wants to stop and get two big bottles of Jameson so he doesn’t run out. If I was to say no then he would go ballistic, mind you he already carries a gun. If we stop for that he will only get angry and I still could not go home. I have done nothing but take care of him for twenty years. His dementia has triggered sexual obsession to the point I cannot handle which has triggered even more aggressive behavior. I go over to the house to bring food and then he calls and asks why didn’t I get him wine!!!! So today is my doomsday I am just sick as to what will happen. I am told I am doing the right thing. But I just am so scared for him. I can only hope he voluntarily agrees to be admitted!!! I just want to go home!!!! Get my life back!!! Hope this works. Please keep fingers crossed!!!
You need to be safe! Until and unless he gets some serious help, it does not seem that you are safe in his presence. I would not go to the house without a police escort! That sounds crazy, but so is this situation.
Dementia, PTSD and alcohol? Now that's a recipe for disaster!
I feel really badly for both of you.
PLease let us know what happened today. Stay strong. You have to put yourself first. Doesn't mean you can't do your best to see that he gets the help but stay safe.
I'm really sorry for what you're going through and the fear that you are experiencing at your husband's hands. It's just awful to be scared of the man you married because he's turned into a stranger who drinks excessively and is threatening, and has guns. I will pray that he is admitted immediately so he can get the help he needs, and so you can get some relief from this nightmare you've been living.
Sending you a big hug and lots of prayers, dear friend.
Your husband is a Veteran. If so call the VA and tell them that he is a danger to either himself or you or both.
The VA will waste no time in trying to help.
Call and talk to a Patient Advocate or his primary
OR when you call the VA one of the first recordings you hear is about safety, suicide and the like you can transfer to that department and they will help.
You are doing this as much for your safety as for his...if he were to harm you who would care for you (if he does not kill you)
If this becomes urgent before you can contact the VA you call 911 and tell them that you are afraid for your life, inform the dispatcher that there is a weapon on the premises and that he may have it on him. (this is to protect the first responders as well as your husband) Also inform the dispatcher that your husband is a Veteran and he has PTSD as well as probably being under the influence of alcohol and if possible you want him transported to the VA hospital. Call the VA and inform them of the situation.
that. But that’s where mental health instructed me to go. Not done yet. I am waiting to hear from social worker hopefully tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed. And thank you for your comment. I appreciate your time in responding to me.. I will give update if and only when I get over this darn brick wall the VA keeps making me jump over !!!