My mother is 85 and has had mental health issues as long as I can remember. They were in control pretty much until 7 years ago when she had a stroke. The stroke was not majorly debilitating but my mom took the opportunity to become "helpless" and she wanted to be waited on and taken care of. She just went to an assisted living facility and has complained of nausea and says she can't go on. I have had her to every kind of doctor and done every kind of test and there is nothing physically wrong. This is starting to affect my health as she calls me all night and all day and tells me she can't go on. When I am away, she calls and begs me to come home and take care of her. Her physical health has not declined and she is on 3 mental health medications. Any advice would be appreciated.
You say she's in Assisted Living, so let them assist with her living.
my mom is in assisted living too. And calls. And calls. AND CALLS!
she can’t go on - she’s worthless….
I am currently trying very hard to answer every OTHER phone call. Then the plan is to not answer calls at night.
*something that helped me was to call her / on MY terms when I was ready . *That took care of the phone calls for the 2 hours at least bc I knew she was safe . I just wouldn’t pick up .
I was walking the dog, doing laundry.Any excuse was at the
tip ofmy tongue for when she asked why I didn’t pick up, ive even knocked at my own door and said oh! Someone is here, gotta run!
anything to cut short a truly complaining call. I knew she was safe and I’m training her not to call . I hope it doesn’t sound horrible, but my sanity was at stake!!
I also made appointment with psych . She’s so negative I bet she won’t go ~. But, I’m trying to create buffers and time between calls. I hope this is helpful.
If she has Dementia, there is no reasoning with her. I would "lose" the phone and tell the staff they are not to allow her to call you on their phones. Emergency calls only.
If you use a cell, remove her # from your contact list. (U can leave her # in, lets say notes) Put your phone on Do Not Disturb, and her call will go to VM. You don't even hear it ring thru. I set my DND to only allow texts and calls from contacts list to come thru. From 11pm to 9am I don't even have it set up for texts or calls.
You need to take control not allow her to control you. She is safe, fed and cared for. You now can have a life.