My husband suffers from a rare disease called cortical basal degeneration. He is slowly deteriorating to the point where he will not be able to move, talk or eat. But will have complete awareness.
You have to be honest with him. You cannot provide him the care he needs and additionally you jeopardize your own health trying to do so.
I'm so sorry for you both, but that is the reality. It's understandable he wants to be home, but unless you two can afford to hire the multiple needed care providers, you have no choice.
I understand you want to care for him in all aspects, you have to care for yourself too.
Perhaps it might make it easier to tell him that your doctor has said that you are at real risk of a back injury if you continue to care for him at home, and that is likely to stop you driving. Your priority is to be able to be with him for as much time as you can, wherever he stays, and you don’t want to take the risk of losing the ability to get to see him. It does at least put the emphasis on his need for you, rather than you not choosing to keep going with the care. So difficult for both of you!
It is a terrible choice to have to make but I think his needs are too great for you to manage at home. You can still be with him at the nursing home as often and as long as you want, but the heavy lifting will be taken care of by three shifts of workers who are younger, stronger and well rested. Reassure him that you will never abandon him and will be his advocate wherever he lives.
I'm so sorry for you both, but that is the reality. It's understandable he wants to be home, but unless you two can afford to hire the multiple needed care providers, you have no choice.
I understand you want to care for him in all aspects, you have to care for yourself too.