She uses an electric scooter provided by her insurance. She keeps falling off the scooter and needs firemen to come get her up. I cannot physically transport her to dr. appointments anymore. I am 57 and have my own medical conditions (many). My mom is always playing the guilt card that she has "a daughter" (I'm an only child), and she doesn't understand why I can't do everything for her. Why do I talk about hiring medical transportation for dr. appts? Why do I talk about hiring home care for her?

Why do I complain about needing to catch her from falling every time I try to transport her. I have 3 bulging discs and sciatica problems. She cannot get to the bathroom anymore because she can't move. So she pees all day long in 1 depend. Her apartment smell urine so bad it gags me. She has no circulation in her feet because she has no movement and her feet are almost black. She hides information from the doctors, saying she can take care of herself and uses her walker for exercise, and none of that is true. She is so afraid of me moving her to a NH, but that is where she needs to be. I need a support group because I'm going crazy over all this. I have POA, but I need information on how nursing homes work. I need information on medical transportation to her dr appts. I have a hard time finding all this in my area. Guess I just need to vent.

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You need to get Mom to a hospital if her feet are black. This could be gangrene and will kill her if not taken care of. You do realize that ur POA doesn't come into effect if Mom can make decisions for herself. You may need to call APS for a "well visit". Ask them to check her feet. Maybe they can get her to the hospital. If not, then its her life and her problem.
Try your Office of Aging and see if they provide buses for transporting people to appts. Or can they give you info on services.

I have had problems with a bulging disk. I can't imagine having 3 of them and sciatica too. It doesn't take much to put one out. Do not try to even help Mom out of a chair. She is where she is because she is stubborn. She can't have it her way all the time.

If she ends up in a hospital and ten rehab, have her evaluated for LTC. With ur health problems you cannot care for her.
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Reply to JoAnn29

I agree she needs a higher level of care. Something else to consider is changing her way of getting around from a scooter to an electric wheelchair with a proper seat and armrests.
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Reply to cwillie

Thanks!  The place she is at now has hinted about her situation being a liability issue to them.  I have a feeling they will ask her to leave soon.  I have an appointment with a nursing home next week to see what is involved with their acceptance and qualifications, mainly costs.  My mom is going to fight me every inch of the way on the idea of being moved.  She is in such denial about her capabilities.  Yet she is always praising and thanking the people around her for their help... that is,  everyone but me.  I never get any type of gratitude from her.  I will continue to search for the right fit.
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Reply to lilcajunlu

Mom needs to move to a higher level of care. It’s surprising the staff where she is hasn’t suggested it already, or even demanded it. And if you can’t transport or pick her up, stop defending yourself about it, stop answering at all about it, you’re a grown adult with no need to justify what you do. Arrange for her to move to the care she needs, assisted living or nursing home, whichever is appropriate, the social worker at either can tell you, and stop apologizing. Don’t mean to sound harsh, just wanting you to guard your own well being
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Reply to Daughterof1930

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