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My mum is 85 years old. We tried to look after her at home but found she kept on getting infections, I started to search for a nursing homes and found a really good home, after all the conflict with family and no one bothering to call the ambulance, I was looking after her my days and noticed she was really confused and her breathing was really bad. I called the ambulance and they took her straight to the hospital. From there after a week she was transferred to the nursing home. She wasn’t happy for about 3 days but now she seems okay, but she had stopped speaking and I’m really worried. I am happy she’s eating now but she does not mention going home at all and it makes me feel very guilty every time I leave her. She has Alzheimer's and I’m not well enough to put my 2 days in during the day and my brother sleeping there 5 nights a week from 5 pm but complaining about it everyday and telling me he does the most after I organise all the help.This situation has divided the family and my brother is now very happy that she is in a nursing home, but she has stopped speaking and just nods yes or no. My question is why has she stopped speaking and looks really depressed and blank? I’m too scared to take her out for a day in case she says she wants to go home. How long should I wait before I take her out for a day? And we have to sell the family home so we could give the deposit to the nursing home. My mum lost her partner last year who was very sick and I got all the help for him and now my mum for around 7 years. I would appreciate any help.


Rose

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My DW has aphasia with her dementia and this causes her difficulty in speaking so she speaks very little. She is now at the stage where she will ignore me when I speak to her and will very seldom answer or acknowledge my presence.
This is a progression of her disease and I just live with it but I still talk to her knowing I may not get a response.
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It could be the ALZ. She just maybe mad. Just continue to visit and know she is in a safe place being cared for.
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RoseCurmi Nov 28, 2018
Thanks for you advice,I will be visiting and I know she is safe.
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Plateaus are periods of stability with very little change.

I don't think there are very many who don't agonize over the decision to place someone in a facility, especially those of us who have been the primary caregiver. Sometimes after a period of adjustment they are actually much happier there but even when they are not we have to take our own needs and abilities into consideration as well - we're all just trying to do our best.
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RoseCurmi Nov 28, 2018
Thank you for your reply.I have a autommune disease.and found putting all my energy into mum has made my condition worse,and she was very demanding,now she doesnt speak but she looks content.
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It could just be a progression of her dementia. Are you certain of the Alzheimer's diagnosis or is it possible she has one of the other forms of dementia? - for instance vascular dementia tends to progress in a step wise way with rapid declines followed by plateaus. She could also still be in a period of adjustment.
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RoseCurmi Nov 17, 2018
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