Is it possible to hire an aide for the day for a special event?

Well. The first thought that sprang to mind was an organisation called Universal Aunts, established 1921, which lingers in the memory as the people "everyone" rang when they needed their children escorted on international flights to and from school, that kind of thing. They are still going and they do also provide companionship and escort services for adults; but there their usefulness to you ends, unfortunately.

However, there is no such thing as a unique service provider; and what one company does, another is bound to be doing somewhere closer to you. Look up customer reviews and testimonials for assistance agencies in your location, then get on the phone and ask. Be very specific about what you want, though, and be careful to confirm that any individual the agency suggests is able and willing to carry out the list of tasks you anticipate.

Worst comes to the worst and you can't find anyone, then alas and alack! - "I'm really sorry but this is all going to be far too much for poor grandpa - let's send him an extra big piece of wedding cake..."

Go to care.com and post your requirements. You might find someone willing to help and also fill in for other times when you need respite! If you live in Northeast Texas, I’ll do it for you!

I got an Aide from an agency for my mom who broke her hip and was in a Rehab. My daughter was getting married and the Aide picked my mom up, brought her to the wedding and took care of everything for my mom and then returned my mom to Rehab. Also we included her in the headcount so she could eat.

If he's a Veteran, call the VA and ask about the friendly visitor program (not sure that's the title, but it's something like it). Or call your Senior Center to see if they have friendly visitor programs. You might be able to find a caring person who enjoys volunteering.

I honestly might find that a better alternative than hiring someone literally sight unseen and unknown through an agency. You don't really have the time to check out that person unless you can have a "meet and greet" meeting first.

You could also arrange to have the event videoed and have a separate little celebration with your father later, maybe even make or bake another cake while watching the video.

You could also call him regularly and update him on the proceedings. Or perhaps someone can bring a laptop and skype with him periodically, or the couple can stop by to visit him before they leave on their honeymoon.

I'm of the opinion that our elders deserve some special attention or accommodations when we plan events. They're losing out on enough life events already.

If you can help him feel as if he's a part of the event, he might be more willing to stay home.

I’ve seen exactly what you describe posted on care.com. I hope you’ll find someone and enjoy the wedding!

Are you a member of a church or other religious group? Some churches have volunteers that will sit with someone.
Some Volunteer groups do things like this, you do have to "pre register or qualify" for the services.
You could also ask in your neighborhood if there is anyone that would be willing to help you out.
Is your Dad living with you currently? If you think the entire day would be a bit much for him you could ask at a Long Term Care Facility like a Memory Care Facility or Assisted Living Facility if they would take him for a Day of Respite and also to "try on" the community if you think there is a possibility that a placement in the future is possible. For something like this you would probably be required to have a Doctor's note saying he is in good health and he would most likely have to have a TB test done prior to being allowed to come in for a day.

Most agency's will have a caregiver come in for a day if that is all you need. As they know down the road you may need more of these respite days. Again they would need to pre qualify him, and they would do no medications unless you pay a higher fee and have a nurse that would be with him.

Personal opinion I would have someone come into where  he is living and sit with him there.  I think the noise, commotion of a wedding and the reception after would be too much and he would be more comfortable at home. 

I see from your profile that your father lives in assisted living. Perhaps the building has an aide you can hire for the day? Do you know the staff well enough to ask someone if s/he wants to earn some extra cash?

Some good ideas, I like NYDILs the best. He would be familiar with the aide. And I agree, he would get there and in an hour want to go home. That is why we didn't take Mom to nieces wedding 7 hours away. Her Dementia was progressing, she was incontinent, etc. I wanted to enjoy the day and the weekend. Worst comes to worst, he doesn't go. Will he even remember the event, probably not but you will. You want to enjoy seeing your son marry not be caring for someone. Dad saw his kids married it only fair for you to see yours.

If you find someone it might be good to do this a week ahead so he is familiar with the aide & any hitches can be ironed out - think of it as a rehersal

lkdrymom...
I did not look at your profile so I was unaware when I answered that your Dad is in Assisted Living.
As much as we want all our loved ones to attend events like this at some point it becomes impossible. A large number of people, many that he does not know, many that he can not remember and the stress of trying to recall who he knows, unfamiliar location, upsetting his routine all can spell disaster.
Just as you would not bring an infant to a wedding, graduation or other event it may be best not to bring someone that will be uncomfortable in the situation.
And I am not one to compare an infant with a person with any type of Dementia, mobility issues or other problems. But you have to take all aspects of the person into consideration. You need to do what is best for them.
Will they enjoy the event? Will they become frustrated, irritated, tired?

I work for a startup in West Michigan that does home nursing care. If you are by chance in the West Michigan area (or greater Michigan area), I can see if we can get an RN to help you out for the day (on us of course). If I can't convince my boss to get you an RN for the day, you might have to settle for me.

I'm not an RN, but I'm certainly capable of doing the things you need for the day. I just got married a few years ago, so I completely understand the importance of not having this event interrupted.

I did exactly what NYDIL suggested when my daughter got married in 2014. Mom had been living in an assisted living facility for a little over a year at the time. I first asked the administrator for permission to privately hire one of the staff CNAs to help mom get ready, drive her to the wedding and assist her as needed, I then asked one of my favorites, and she agreed. I paid her more than twice her regular hourly rate since she used her own vehicle. We also arranged for a wheelchair at the wedding venue to make it easier for mom. Although mom did not remember attending the wedding, I was glad she was able to participate in a family event.

We used Visiting Angels, Cleve, Oh area. Awesome gal, for family wedding.

As has been mentioned, Visiting Angels can provide occasional one-day care.

If they are not in your area, look for a similar agency.

I think it is a great idea for you to hire someone to help out. It makes all sorts of sense, and would allow you to enjoy an important day.

My aunt, who lived in assisted living, hired a favorite aide from there to fly with her to a multi-day family reunion. As far as I can tell, it worked great. So it definitely can be done. Ask at the AL place what they might suggest.

I did exactly what chdotter and akdaughter did for an out-of-town celebration last month with my 93-year-old wheelchair-bound mom. I took her to the party, but hired one of the CNAs from her AL, who was able to come to the celebration, tend to her, and bring her back to the AL when she got tired. I paid him well and was able to enjoy the day myself. Honestly, it felt like the first vacation from caregiving that I've had in a while. It was so nice to not have to tend to everything, even if for a little while, and the time felt like it did when she was mobile and with it. People were so happy that I brought her and she was happy that she was able to go. See if the AL will let their CNAs work on the side or if they have any recommendations.

This happened to me with MIL and my daughter’s wedding. We asked MIL’s cleaner, a good friend and well known to all the family, if she would bring MIL. She said no until we made it clear that we wanted to pay, and then agreed – quite reasonable as it took up her Saturday afternoon. It worked well, and the helper fitted in as one of the congregation. If you can find someone known, it is nicer than an agency or an unknown volunteer. Perhaps the bride’s family can suggest someone, or your own friends have a son or daughter who would take it on as a friendly pocket-money job.

Short answer. Go to your local nursing home and ask the nurses if one of the aides would be willing to caregiver for the day. These aides don't make a whole lot of money (I was a nurse at a nursing home) and they sometimes would have to moonlight to make extra cash. They would be cheaper then going to one of those services that would charge you a lot more than an aide. And I would make it simple by not taking your Dad to the wedding and having the aide bring him home after a couple of hours. There is the liability issue if she got into an accident on the way to his home. I would tell your Dad that the flu is in high season and you are concerned about his health. Hope this helps.

Definitely hire someone to come to the wedding with him or not at all to the wedding. I wanted to do this with my mom in 2016 when my daughter got married and never got around to it and it completely ruined the event for me. I had to constantly be watching my mom who was 90 at the time in a gown acting like she could dance and walk without a cane. Talk to people to see if anyone knows someone that knows someone or a friend of yours that knows your father but hire someone - trust me. I couldn’t even enjoy my only daughter’s wedding.

I talked to my co worker and she reminded me of the woman I had hired before he went into AL. She was a paid companion. I really didn't think of her as his AL is quite far from where she is . She told me that if she was not interested she had two other people in mind. Just figured my father knew the first woman.

My father is not so out of it that he would be confused at a party. He'd love the attention. The problem is he would want a lot of it. It is one of those situations where everyone wants him there but no one wants to put in the effort it takes to HAVE him there. That is my job as far as they are concerned.

I appreciate the ideas of asking at his AL.