I have been the caregiver for 5 loved ones (including my MIL & FIL). Currently caring with part-time help for my 93 year old Aunt who suffered a stroke 7 months after my Mother died in Feb 2018 @ age 94. I know I didn't have much time to grieve the loss of my Mother because there was so much business (funeral, selling my childhood home, then dealing with my Aunt's stroke) to tend to. On top of that, 2 years before my Mother started to decline intensely, my husband & I chose to build a home that would accommodate our later years. Unbeknownst to me & in hindsight, taking on such a big project was unwise. Right now, I feel like after 42 years of marriage, I'm seeing a side of my husband I don't like. I know he deals with everything in a "business like" manner, BUT- Ex; after my Mother's death, I feel he pushed me to get over it (his words "@ least you had her for 94 years. You should have known it was coming"), cleaning out my Mother's home & putting it on the market 2.5 months after she died (he said " I didn't want to see you sink into depression & delay the inevitable, I felt it was best for you"), making decisions regarding our new house. Honestly, after Mom died, I wasn't into it & emotionally shut down. 3 weeks ago, I fell & broke my ankle & nose. This is the first time I've been injured & needed care for myself. He is too busy with work so he helping me is minimal. Fortunately for me, I 've always been very resourceful & find a way to get things done.
Long story, short- Currently I am feeling that my Aunt will be the last of my caregiving. I pray that I die first before my husband because I am so hurt by his words, attitude,& actions, that I don't want to care for him when his time comes (please don't badger me of my marriage vows " in sickness & in health"). It has crossed my mind that he may be exhibiting early signs of ALZ. It does run in his family.
Have any of you generous caregivers felt this way about your spouse? I know I am feeling hurt & disappointment ( I have told him this). Thanks for letting me vent