My husband is going into permanent care on Monday 10am. I am very worried how I will get him out of car and through the doors of the facility. I know he won’t go willingly. Remember. I am in Australia
My Mom also was evaluated in a Geriatric Psychiatric Facility.
The facility was great. It was very peaceful. No, the patients were not over drugged and zombie like.
Actually, my Mom wanted to stay after they had her stabilized. That took 10 days. The staff were amazing.
Mom’s Geriatric Physician had done all he could do to get the med combo right. He is the one that suggested the evaluation.
Mom was treated by a Geriatric Psychiatrist during her evaluation and yes, I think that made a huge difference in getting the med combo right.
Mom was then visited by a Psych Service at the Nursing Home and her meds were tweaked occasionally.
Sadly there is still a stigma concerning Psych Facilities. My own sister had a meltdown because our Mom was going to a Psych Facility. Sis did finally get herself together and visit Mom in the Facility. She loved the place also.
Don't be afraid of the psych evaluations, Panda, my mom was sent for psych evaluations a few times. There they would find a med combo that would help her feel more comfortable. The meds were quite strong and each time my mom would become more comfortable. I now, often think that mom also had undiagnosed FTD in addition to Alzheimer's. She was completely unmanageable.
I know how hard this must be on you and your husband. Remember, most importantly, they will find a way to help him better cope, which is scary because of the strength of the meds and how much more he will sleep and relax. Also important to remember is that he would not want to be feeling this way either. Taking someone home is not a viable option.
My mom was eventually kicked out of memory care. She was on hospice at the time and they recommended a much smaller care home where the caregiver/resident ratio was much lower. And it was cheaper and would have been a better fit for her from the beginning.
Mom also had to have 24/7 caregivers, an additional cost, to keep her engaged and hopefully out of trouble.
Best wishes to you and hubby. Stay strong, kind of a emotional detachment, and have faith that the pros will be able to find a solution. Trust them.
If the facility will not let him return, do not take him home! Use the social workers to find another facility, maybe a care home?
Panda, I know the thought of a psych ward is heartbreaking but many here on the forum have told us it was invaluable in finding ways to stabilize their loved ones, hopefully they can help him.
Hi Panda, I don't have any brilliant ideas for you with how to get DH into the NH, but I wanted to wish you the best of luck with what lies ahead. I see this already happened yesterday..........how did it go? Please check in and let us know. Sending you a hug, I know how hard this journey really is
Told him we were going together for two days so staff put an extra bed in the room First two days he rang me every 15 to 20 minutes. In between these times he was ringing my son. I have put my phone on silent and stopped listening to the voice mails then blocked his number. Son kept answering until facility spoke to me to get son to do the same Day three no calls because staff did something to his phone. He will not hand it over. Day three staff called me twice about any advice on how to deal with him as with FTD they don’t forget what they are told and can’t be re directed. He just will not stop demanding to leave, will not rest or join in activities and continues to ask same things over and over
i am going there now to sign paperwork to allow them to call in their own doctor to change his dosage on meds etc. my greatest worry now is that he will go to a specialist psychiatric ward who have more at their discretion to deal with him
How did it go with transportation? How are you doing? It’s a hard day but a necessary one. Hope all is well with you. Hope everything is going well for your husband.
A lot of people have had to resort to trickery, the success of that is going to depend on how aware he is. Is there anyone there you might tell him you want to visit? Can you tell him you are taking him there for a clinic - toe nail trimming, hearing/vision check... Stopping in because you have a coupon for a free meal (print one off) Mention some form of entertainment that you want to participate in I don't suppose he'd be willing to go "for a few days" while you are away for ???
No. Been a n respite twice. Went well according to staff but he says it was a living hell. It wasn’t. He is desperate to see his mother. Luckily, although it’s in the same group of homes it is not the same one. I thought I would hide his bag so he doesn’t catch on and tell him we are going to visit his brother and mother as a surprise. My son will come too. Just hate the deceit.
The NH will help you with that. They help people in and out of homes all the time. Mom went by ambulance straight from hospital to skilled nursing rehab in NH.
Can you call the home and see what they suggest? They may send someone to your home to pick him up. I didn’t drive mom there. The ambulance drove to the hospital and got her. I followed in my car. Go the day before to sign all paperwork. That’s what I did.
My Mom also was evaluated in a Geriatric Psychiatric Facility.
The facility was great. It was very peaceful. No, the patients were not over drugged and zombie like.
Actually, my Mom wanted to stay after they had her stabilized. That took 10 days. The staff were amazing.
Mom’s Geriatric Physician had done all he could do to get the med combo right. He is the one that suggested the evaluation.
Mom was treated by a Geriatric Psychiatrist during her evaluation and yes, I think that made a huge difference in getting the med combo right.
Mom was then visited by a Psych Service at the Nursing Home and her meds were tweaked occasionally.
Sadly there is still a stigma concerning Psych Facilities. My own sister had a meltdown because our Mom was going to a Psych Facility. Sis did finally get herself together and visit Mom in the Facility. She loved the place also.
I know how hard this must be on you and your husband. Remember, most importantly, they will find a way to help him better cope, which is scary because of the strength of the meds and how much more he will sleep and relax. Also important to remember is that he would not want to be feeling this way either. Taking someone home is not a viable option.
My mom was eventually kicked out of memory care. She was on hospice at the time and they recommended a much smaller care home where the caregiver/resident ratio was much lower. And it was cheaper and would have been a better fit for her from the beginning.
Mom also had to have 24/7 caregivers, an additional cost, to keep her engaged and hopefully out of trouble.
Best wishes to you and hubby. Stay strong, kind of a emotional detachment, and have faith that the pros will be able to find a solution. Trust them.
If the facility will not let him return, do not take him home! Use the social workers to find another facility, maybe a care home?
I know this is really hard for you. Wish it was an easier transition for you. Transitional times are the worst!
Sending you a hug, I know how hard this journey really is
First two days he rang me every 15 to 20 minutes. In between these times he was ringing my son. I have put my phone on silent and stopped listening to the voice mails then blocked his number. Son kept answering until facility spoke to me to get son to do the same
Day three no calls because staff did something to his phone. He will not hand it over. Day three staff called me twice about any advice on how to deal with him as with FTD they don’t forget what they are told and can’t be re directed. He just will not stop demanding to leave, will not rest or join in activities and continues to ask same things over and over
i am going there now to sign paperwork to allow them to call in their own doctor to change his dosage on meds etc. my greatest worry now is that he will go to a specialist psychiatric ward who have more at their discretion to deal with him
How did it go with transportation? How are you doing? It’s a hard day but a necessary one. Hope all is well with you. Hope everything is going well for your husband.
Is there anyone there you might tell him you want to visit?
Can you tell him you are taking him there for a clinic - toe nail trimming, hearing/vision check...
Stopping in because you have a coupon for a free meal (print one off)
Mention some form of entertainment that you want to participate in
I don't suppose he'd be willing to go "for a few days" while you are away for ???
The NH will help you with that. They help people in and out of homes all the time. Mom went by ambulance straight from hospital to skilled nursing rehab in NH.
Can you call the home and see what they suggest? They may send someone to your home to pick him up. I didn’t drive mom there. The ambulance drove to the hospital and got her. I followed in my car. Go the day before to sign all paperwork. That’s what I did.