Im a 49 yo male and have been a 24/7 carer for my 81 year old mother for 5 years who has multiple physical problems and is now getting some kind of dementia the last 2 years which has not officially been diagnosed and is slowly getting worse. I cared for her 24/7 partime the 5 years previous to the last 5 years. I get no family support from my 5 sibblings as they all live in other states and do not contact in any way except 1 brother who sends the odd photo of her 2 grand daughters.
She has had many hospital stays and in previous years and had somone help her shower until she got her strengh back from after being in hospital.
She gets incontinent 1s and 2s and I have had many occasions at 2 am having to deal with it. She has mobility issues from breaking her back etc at age 17 and is going blind from macular degeneration along with a host of other medical problems like a hiatus hernia and oesophical srictures which make it impossible to eat solids and of course riddled with arthritis in most of her body and a list of other problems.
So you get the general idea. She is slowly dying before my eyes.
I know most would put her in a home and most likley I will eventually will also when it becomes too much for 1 person and she needs multiple people to help but at the moment the guilt I would feel would be overwhelming and she would think I was deserting her and also the fact that nursing homes to some say this is it I'm going to die now and just shut down and see it as like a waiting room for death.
She even refuses respite thinking I will just never come back for her. She is very depressed herself and anxious and scared of what is happening to her.
I am just wondering if there is anyone else out there who has had or is having simmiliar problems in theire life. I suffer severe depression and anxiety and have nobody to even give me moral support.
Hoping there is someone who can relate to my situation.