Hi Everyone!
Thank you in advance for your guidance. I have been searching this site for many years now and have always found it to be very helpful.
Recently, my mother in law has seen a decline. She would like to move in with us but I made this VERY clear many years ago (20+) that will never be an option. I have said this to her in so many words over the years and to my husband many times. Her living with us is not an option. I told my hubby the result of that happening will end in divorce and us selling our home.
She refuses to go to AL or NH. While I know that she is declining, I offer to go there and do all I can help with, aside from any medical things such as showers, bed pan or diapers. It is never good enough. She is very demanding. You all know the struggles so I don't need to go too much into detail....
My husband does not want her to live with us either but feels some what of an obligation. He told me last that the answer is a strong no. Since she refuses to go to AL or NH and he is POA, are we legally responsible for her well being? Meaning, do we have to by law take her in? Are there legal repercussions to her living alone?
She has no living siblings and only one child. There is literally no one else to help either.
You could take her to eat a couple nice places - assisted livings, independent livings... AFTER going there first to make sure the food is good and then picking the day when they will be providing something scrumptious that you know she enjoys.
You could do the long route-- take her to a place with morning elder daycare with lots of good programs including singing and out-loud reading... piano and entertainment, and then hire an eldercare nursing company to sit with her and then that would most likely lead to eventually an AH. If she had dementia already-- there is always subterfuge and re-direction. Usually one's fuddy duddy will forget the old life and learn to enjoy the new-- reading a newspaper til it falls apart, watching the same movies …. in the words of Yoda- do or do not, there is no try.