So this is what is happening to my mom. She had a UTI - then fell twice - in hospital - checked for brain bleed - none - and has heart disease - to make a long story short she is in the rehab and that's how she's been for about 2 or 3 weeks. I saw her once in the hospital and she was fine and when she started to get confused the nurses and doctors came in so I decided that was a good time to leave. It's almost impossible to speak to her by phone at the rehab so I have only gotten reports from nurses and caregivers. Here is my question. Up until the fall my mom was on the ball. There was no confusion. I am scared to see her like this but of course I need to go. When someone goes in and out - when they are not confused... can you mention to them that they have been getting confused? Can you talk to them truthfully about what's happening? I don't really know how to act when she isn't confused. It makes me so worried and sad.

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The first time mom fell bad enough to be hospitalized and sent to rehab, she was also in renal failure due to dehydration from no IV and developed a UTI so bad she had to be rehospitalized twice

During this time, which was before dementia, she hallucinated and had to be tied down as she was trying to crawl out of bed with a broken shoulder and back

It was a rough 2 months but rehab was making her condition worse not better as the first hospital discharged her with a fever, infection and renal failure

Don't be afraid to ask to speak to the doctor directly and question everything - know what meds are being given and why - if this is your first time with mom in rehab then it is difficult to navigate -

unfortunately my experience is that you can't rely upon these facilities to handle her care - it is easy for things to get worse but it takes great effort for things to get better
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Ab, it's very scary when your parent isn't themselves! Hats off to you for recognizing your own discomfort.

My mom had a stroke and was in rehab for several weeks. Physically, she was getting stronger, but mentally.....she started telling us wild stories about dead bodies, an aide having sex in her bathroom, that she had to pay for everything. First I tried correcting her. ( we checked all of her stories out). I was rational, i told her she was mispercieving things.

Then one afternoon, the nurse came in and gave her her meds. My mother glared at me and said " i have to manage my own medications here". I said "what?!" My mother pointed her arthritic finger at her water pitcher with an arched eyebrow.

I followed the nurse out when she left and said "what's going on?" The nurse explained that it might be confusion from being in rehab, but that they'd called the geriatric psychiatrist in for a consult.

I guess all of this is to say, ask questions of the doctors and nurses. If your mom seems confused, I'd gently say " you okay mom? You seem a little out of focus" . Thinking good thoughts!
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Check her meds list and see what they are giving her that she didn't have before she was sick. Hospitals and facilities often give Haldol to elderly, confused people (on docs orders of course). However, it has a black box warning and can make confusions worse. Other meds may cause similar reaction. Always check the meds
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