What is wrong with me? I don't shower until my daughter has me over and insists on it. One time she got me in the tub, I'm lucky I didn't break a tailbone. Yes I felt better after. I have a walk in shower at home. I'm afraid the pipe will break and we'll have to have the landlord send someone to fix it. I didn't have this problem until my husband had his open heart surgery three years ago. Ever since he healed up nice I have stopped doing dishes, cleaning and showering. I have a dishwasher but to get the dishes clean I have to wash them first by hand, then my wrists hurt. I did get them ready to wash about 5 days ago, they're still in the sink water and it stinks. I don't sweat and I do the laundry just fine and wear clean clothes. I'm only 64 and my husband is 70 and has stopped weedwacking the yard. I always loved a nice yard and a clean house. Is there something wrong with me as I have an excuse for not showering every time. Either because my toe hurts or I feel imbalanced. I'm not old, but I feel it this year especially. I feel hungry all day, want to eat at a buffet so I can get full, but I'm not but about 20 pounds overweight. I feel disconnected from my children and grandsons. But I spend every Saturday when my daughter picks me up and takes me to her place, which is very clean and nice. I want to show off my daughter and go somewhere to eat but she only wants to go to her house. Please does anyone have ideas or suggestions how I can motivate myself? No put downs please?
What has worked before?
Get a housekeeper and a lawn service to come in and get your home in order. It's easier to keep it up after it's been thoroughly cleaned. Play music. Take walks. Treat yourself to a Rose or two. A massage. A mani pedi. Go to a movie with your husband. Do just the simplest things to increase your enjoyment of life. You've begun by posting on AC. Best of luck on next steps.
Do those and spend time with those you love and hopefully you will be feeling better soon!
Be kind to yourself. You need TLC too.
I have the attention span of a gnat now............barely have the motivation to win an argument. I used to love a good debate, now I'm like "okay, you win, yawn!" Can't be bothered.
I would like others have advised, get your vitamin levels sorted out. You may be low in something. I know with me that I don't eat a lot of meat so I get anemic very easily.
It is not over yet!
Can you tell us about when your husband had open heart surgery-about 3 years ago and he healed up fine? Were you his caregiver? You were afraid you were going to lose him?
He stopped weed whacking and your wrists hurt...who does the weed whacking now?
Sometimes with enough information, you can figure these things out. However, if you are depressed, or have C A R E G I V E R. B U R N O U T, that could explain t h e start of some of your symptoms. Don't allow the symptoms to get any worse before seeking professional help, and returning to talk it out with other caregivers in the know.
See the 'search bars' above (3 vertical short lines in blue), click on it and enter 'Caregiver Burnout' to see the many articles which could direct you in the right direction.
As others have advised, see your doctor to rule out other causes.
When 'normal' is mentioned, what is normal? Because after these last few years, with what you have experienced, you may not be normal if you weren't having trouble now. Returning to a higher level of functioning that you are comfortable with is most likely doable...but start now.
Keep posting with us here.
One imbalance that won't show up in blood tests is depression. There are treatments for depression and anxiety. Tell your doctor what is going on with you and ask for a referral to mental health counseling if the doc thinks that might be appropriate.
Not showering because a pipe might burst is not rational, is it? Leaving dishes soaking in dirty water for five days because your wrist hurts doesn't exactly sound rational, either. I think you realize that you are making excuses. Please don't take this as criticism. I have major depressive disorder myself. I am not blaming you about this. But I am urging you to seek diagnosis and get treatment. Your life really can be satisfying again!
Plus as we ourselves start to age, our bodies slow down. I know I only have half the energy I had 10 years ago. It's like what in the world happened.
Thankfully I still work part-time, thus it gives me a reason to get up in the morning and out the door. On Saturdays I do volunteer work which is a really good "feel good" feeling. Look on-line for volunteer opening in your area, and find something you and hubby can do. My parents did volunteer work up into their late 80's.
If you don't want to shower every other day, buy those wipes that one can use between showers. I use them myself. Find a nice fragrance. There are days when I find taking a shower is a lot of work, and I just don't have the energy :( And so what if the shower pipe should break, it's nothing that you did.
Oh, as others have mentioned, have your Vitamin B12 checked, you could be really low on that.
Have you had a vacation lately? Maybe, try to not be so hard on yourself. We don't have to meet other's expectations all the time.
I recently lost about 30 pounds and man, it really improved my energy level. You can ask your doctor if that would help.
Why not invite your daughter to take you out, your treat to a nice place for dinner. Plan on it and dress up. She might enjoy it and treat you next time.