I saw this question and I can’t find it but has anyone had an eye opening about getting old after caregiving? - AgingCare.com

I saw this question and I can’t find it but has anyone had an eye opening about getting old after caregiving?


I know when my husband saw how bad his dad was, he said did we mess up by not having children? Who is going to help us when we get old? It was a rude awakening for him when his mom was dying, his brothers and him didn’t watch her die, and seeing how expensive it is for care it’s even got us thinking about where we are going to retire. See he has to retire at 53-55, he will get a part time job he is just a deputy sheriff and I have been on disability. My parents are leaving us a house out in the country, but there is so much to think about. How are you guys preparing for care as we age?



Thank you we are like you all we have paid off our house and only have one car payment which we will pay off in two years we don’t live beyond our means but then I read somewhere you are better off having nothing but we don’t want to live off tax payers money but most people live way beyond their means and they will not have anything so we will pay for their care we were also thinking about going where there is a lot of health care too
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Staffbull18

My parents taught me about saving, living below one's means, etc. My husband and I both are still working at 68 and plan to keep on working as we can physically and mentally. The university where I work does not have a mandatory retirement age. Many work until they are 75 or so. I've always planned for my old age like I would have to have expensive care. I know people my age who have always lived for the moment without thinking ahead. I can't think their older years will be very pleasant.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Becky04473

Staffbull18, even though my parents had passed, I thank every day that they taught me to save money like there will be no tomorrow. My folks were the teenagers of the Great Depression. They started teaching me when I was 5 years old, having me get my very first savings account....

What a sticker shock I got when my parents became older and needed professional care. My Mom was in long-term-care at $12k per month, and Dad was still at their home with around the clock Agency caregivers which was costing him $20k per month.  I was a senior myself so I was dealing with my own age decline issues.

Thank goodness Dad decided to sell the house and he moved into Independent Living which was costing him $5k per month.... then later moved to Memory Care at $7k per month. I was in panic mode wondering if Dad would out-live his money.

Another thing I learned, live close to a large metro area as health care, hospitals, urgent cares are just around the corner, or only a few minutes away. I plan to stay in my area because of that. We have 5 urgent care places within a 2 mile radius. The hospital and doctors are less than 15 minutes away. And 3 fire houses within a 3 mile radius.

I am in my 70's and I still have my career, but now it is part-time. It gives me reason to get up in the mornings and I love what I am doing. And my boss is even older then I am. He is proof that if you keep busy, you tend to be healthier.

What really scares me is that our current President will be blocking immigrants from those countries who like taking care of others, be it in-home caregiving, assisted living or nursing homes. My Dad had a large diverse group of caregivers, and he loved learning about their culture. They all were so delightful and so caring. What will health care do with the baby boomers needing such care down the road? Will we have enough caregivers? Or will prices gets jacked up so only the wealthy can move into IL, AL, and Memory Care?
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to freqflyer

Well, I'm retiring in Mexico (which isn't for everyone). The cost of housing is less than half and the cost of labor is extremely cheap (think caregivers). Since those 2 things are the costliest for retirees, I'm hoping that my savings and Social Security will go farther.

I have a son, 29, who is a heroin addict. We don't talk. I doubt very seriously that he'll even know when I die, unless my husband decides to phone him or he gets clean and we rekindle a relationship. I'd never expect him to do much of anything for me anyway. My mother is getting a lot more help from me (her only child) than I will (from my only child).

If my husband dies first, I'm on my own. All our friends in Mexico are retired, so they'll be as old as I am. My husband's daughter, who is very responsible, told me she'll take care of my finances to help in my care. I hope I'll form some meaningful relationships with Mexican ladies who might be able to care for me if I become infirm (mind or body).

It's a depressing thought about getting old. I've really been down about it lately. I'm with Living South, I don't want to live that long.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to SueC1957

I don't think that many of us are going to be in good financial shape - and having kids doesn't mean that they would take care of you. I know some people whose kids let other people take care of them, like neighbors. A documentary I saw on Alzheimer's said it was a tsunami coming to the US because so many would have it and so few resources. Hope I don't live that long!
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Reply to LivingSouth