You state in your profile "I help my mom get most of her meals, do the shopping, and clean around the house."
and that your mother "... is 84 years old, living at home with age-related decline, anxiety, arthritis, depression, hearing loss, incontinence, mobility problems, sleep disorder, and vision problems."
Soon your mother is going to need more help than what you are giving her now. I'm assuming you live with her, and that you moved in originally 8 years ago to save money as a single mother? Are you still working? Now that your children are grown, can you meet your living expenses on your own?
How does she get to medical appointments? Other activities? Are you her driver? Are you her POA/HCPOA? What is her financial situation? Are you an only child?
Most people don't "want" to go into a facility. But what they want and what they need are two different things. And it's not an option for to "want" YOU to live with her and care for her. It's your choice.
So, you will need to find other solutions to her many needs and find yourself a new place to live. She will likely be mad and hurt and try to make you feel guilty. Don't let it sway you from your decision. You are entitled to live your own life.
Meals - sign her up for meals on wheels House - hire someone to clean the house (with her money) and take care of any other things that need to be done Shopping - most things can be ordered online and delivered
What you describe actually IS a lot of help. As you've no doubt figured out, this will only get worse.
Congratulations on deciding you don't want to do it. Now take steps to get out from under.
If you live with mom, you need to find another place to live. Be forthright and explain that you need to pursue your own life.
Unfortunately, there's a whole lot of overentitled senior adults who will take advantage of their children. They didn't plan for old age, they didn't save for it, and they don't care if they ruin your life. But that is not YOUR problem. It's hers. Tell her that and save yourself.
Expect her to cry cry cry and moan and accuse you of letting her down. Don't accept that. What she wants isn't what she needs. She needs to go to a place where she can enjoy activities, socialize and be cared for by professionals.
and that your mother "... is 84 years old, living at home with age-related decline, anxiety, arthritis, depression, hearing loss, incontinence, mobility problems, sleep disorder, and vision problems."
Soon your mother is going to need more help than what you are giving her now. I'm assuming you live with her, and that you moved in originally 8 years ago to save money as a single mother? Are you still working? Now that your children are grown, can you meet your living expenses on your own?
How does she get to medical appointments? Other activities? Are you her driver? Are you her POA/HCPOA? What is her financial situation? Are you an only child?
She can hire a cleaning lady to help around the house.
A the best
So, you will need to find other solutions to her many needs and find yourself a new place to live. She will likely be mad and hurt and try to make you feel guilty. Don't let it sway you from your decision. You are entitled to live your own life.
Meals - sign her up for meals on wheels
House - hire someone to clean the house (with her money) and take care of any other things that need to be done
Shopping - most things can be ordered online and delivered
Best of luck.
Congratulations on deciding you don't want to do it. Now take steps to get out from under.
If you live with mom, you need to find another place to live. Be forthright and explain that you need to pursue your own life.
Unfortunately, there's a whole lot of overentitled senior adults who will take advantage of their children. They didn't plan for old age, they didn't save for it, and they don't care if they ruin your life. But that is not YOUR problem. It's hers. Tell her that and save yourself.
Expect her to cry cry cry and moan and accuse you of letting her down. Don't accept that. What she wants isn't what she needs. She needs to go to a place where she can enjoy activities, socialize and be cared for by professionals.
Cover909
Has Mom looked into hiring cleaning help; Meals on Wheels?