I don't know if anyone else can relate to this - my mother is still working, and lives in a massive house with a massive property. It's full of junk. I mean, FULL. My sister and her kids are living with her, partly out of necessity, partly to help out, and I travel over 2 hours every weekend to try to help with the property, but we're both sick, we both have disabled kids, and she's actually healthy. My sister recently had a nervous breakdown, anxiety attacks, and has several very serious health issues, and I have cervical cancer, arthritis, and a host of other issues. The electricity in parts of the house has stopped working, and I don't know how to make her hire someone - she keeps asking me to get a friend of mine to drive down to fix it - for free! She does have some mobility issues but refuses to accept them (though they're a fine excuse for not doing the shopping, most of the cooking, organizing things, etc.). In a perfect world, she'd sell the house (which she's been saying she was going to do for about 20 years now, it's always "I want to sell this house in the next 2 years, so 'this' has to be cleaned up/cleared out/fixed/redone" but they're still there. If she sold the house, at least she could get an apartment and my sister could afford to live on her own - I really don't think my mother realizes how much she leans on my sister and I. She's perfectly capable of living on her own, but leans on EVERYONE, including her friend's husbands, to get things done for her. I'm exhausted - downright exhausted - mentally and physically, from the things going on in my own life as a single mom, but this travelling is killing me, and my sister definitely has the worst of it. Nothing is ever done 'right,' she gets upset if she thinks my sister spent money on things she shouldn't have (even though she works full time too) and I have gotten to the point where I even considered moving back to take the load off her. She's selfish and demanding, and has anxieties about just about everything - so you can't do ANYTHING without asking several times, just to be sure, and even then she gets upset. 'Put this lightbulb in the upstairs bedroom, and this one in the kitchen.' So you do. Then she changes her mind, but instead of saying 'I changed my mind' she says 'no, you put them in the wrong rooms!' It's literally that bad. I'm still hurt by the abuse that went on when I was a kid, and while I feel an obligation to help get the house ready to 'sell,' and I made a promise to my father on his deathbed that I'd always take care of her, I feel like my life, and the lives of my kids (and my sister and her kids) are being sacrificed - it feels like a continuation and even a worsening of the abuse I grew up with. Are there such things as 'Elderly Interventions?' I feel like there should be - an expert who can sit down with the whole family and point out the realities then work to a solution. But my mother doesn't live in reality - she hops off to work, then to volunteer, pops in for naps and dinner, then when she's not busy, orders my sister and I around like we're slaves - and never, never says thank you ONCE. It's like she gets HER happiness by helping others, then demands to be treated like she's too old to do anything in her own home. That house is 40 years old and hasn't been maintained. How do we say 'it's impossible, mom - let it go and sell it?'