Hi all, I'm 25, and my dad is 52. He has diabetes, type 2, a depression and psychotic disorder. In reality, all his problems come down to the fact that he has always had alcohol problems. My mom divorced him 4 years okay - it was ugly. My father was abusing my mom psychically and psychologically, he is a very manipulative person. Since the divorce, he lost his job, he has no purpose, he is struggling with diabetes and making it worse with the fact that he doesn't seem to ever want to stop drinking. He'll be fine for a few weeks or months and then has a phase for 2-3 weeks. He doesn't see his faults, he thinks he is a very special, all-knowing person, who is truthful and godly. He still doesn't understand why my mom divorced him, because she's evil and he was always such an exemplary person. He's the most controlling person I know. Two months ago I went to visit him with my little sister (13) and my boyfriend, and when we arrived he was drunk and unpleasant. This never happened before, because he wouldn't invite us when he was drunk -now he doesn't care. I was so embarrassed. Today, I rang him to check how his hospital appointment for diabetes went and he didn't go. He sounded tipsy. He said to me I have no idea how much pain and suffering he has to go through everyday and did so for the past four years, that he is completely lonely and has no-one. To give some context - we all live in the UK, but aren't originally from the UK. I live 50 miles away and as I'm a student. I have only myself to count on and so I visit him every two weeks. He started telling me today how I don't visit him and he is lonely etc and I said I do, but when I do he is drunk and I'm so tired and scared and upset. Each time this happens I am unable to function properly for a few days. See, I have no family here I can count on, so I need to make my own living and in all circumstances count on myself as I have nobody to fall back on. Everyday, I wake up and I'm thinking about my dad dying and I'm so scared that one day I will wake up and he won't pick up the phone because he is dead. I don't know how to help him and what to do anymore. He doesn't listen, because he always knows best. He doesn't understand that anyone else might be suffering too. He likes to say things to make me feel guilty and when I point them out he denies saying them. He told me today 'I'm not perfect and I'm your father, so you have to love me however I am - nice, mean, drunk, sober, horrible, when I shout at you and when I don't, and when I speak you always have to listen because I always speak the truth'. In fact, I think he believes some strange things he tells himself and that's his truth. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to feel better, It's been like this for 4 years and I'm drained. Before then, I was scared of him as a child and a teenager, he was very controlling and manipulative, and now I'm not scared of him, I'm scared for him. I'm just really struggling and don't know how to go about this entire situation.