My father is 81 and has lived with me and my family for about a year now. He had a hiatal hernia for many years and it finally got the best of him, and he had major surgery early in October to correct it. The good news is he did much better than expected and is out of the hospital in a rehab facility. We expect him to be able to come home within a month or so.
For most of his adult life, he has been a widower and lived on his own. His social skills are not the best. He expects everyone to wait on him hand and foot. He is very controlling and expects everything to be done his way. He thrives on pity. Since he has been in the nursing facility, it has gotten 100 times worse.
He is still on a small feeding tube which he complains about incessantly, but the doctor says it can't come out until he starts eating half his meals. He doesn't like any of the food he is brought (even though he has picked it from the menu) and hardly eats. The TV in the room is too small. The nurses are mean (they aren't) and "no one come to see me or calls me" (at least two relatives visit per day, and he gets 2-3 phone calls per day but won't answer his phone). He can get up and down and walk around but he refuses to do so unless required to. You get the picture. He has been on an anti-depressant for about the last year. I haven't seen much improvement. I bring him newspapers, magazines, and have lent him an iPad (full of his favorite movies and TV shows) but it doesn't seem to help much.
My relatives are getting weary of making great efforts to see him every day. I am his only child and am getting tired of putting my own family on the back burner every day, but I am doing my best to balance my time. Does anyone have any similar situations or tips to offer?