I work for a Abcor Home Health that only pays me 4.5 hours a day M-F, when I'm here 24/7. Abcor and Senior Services will not send another aid to give me weekends off. They won't even put someone in place in case I am sick to come take care of Mom. I was diagnosed with MS (I believe I have had this for years) and there are days I don't want to even get out of bed, but there is no one else in place to take care of her because Abcor won't help me, they tell me that they have to garnish my wages to send someone over to meet Mom, when I am working already. I am so burned out and no one is willing to help me out Senior Services won't do anything, neither will Abcor. My sister cannot help out, because her husband has colon cancer and leukemia and her son has cerebral palsy, so she has too much on her plate already.
I'm just looking for help with this since I don't know where to turn anymore.
Right now with the winter holidays and with people experiencing the winter bump in illnesses like colds, flu and Covid, agencies are understaffed. For that reason it's a problem when mom is so picky.
Also driving to Chicago to "talk to somebody" isn't going to solve the problem. It might remove it from your back yard, but that won't help you. Deal with things locally, and build favorable relationships with those who could look kindly upon you and provide what you and mom need. In addition, if you're "old school" and resistant to the resources available with technology, and if you're determined not to learn about them, you are hobbling yourself and will remain unable to help mom. I totally understand your frustration - I've been a hands-on caregiver for 4 family members myself - but the truth is that it's important to (1) learn about the system (2) understand technology at least a little (3) be open to whatever caregivers you can get because there aren't that many who want this job (4) don't expect family to help because that is impossible, as in your case, or rare in any case (5) be prepared to private hire and private pay if you must.
This is Truth. I wish it were otherwise. And I wish you luck, because you certainly need it.
PS - Look into facility care for mom. If this is all beyond you, so be it. Let professionals take care of her and be grateful for people who know how.
I have a lot of respect for truckies – we have a 10 wheel heavy rigid that has helped us move stuff out of selling a farm 1500 kms away, and I’ve done a LOT of miles as passenger with DH driving. Where I am, there are ‘road trains’ with a prime mover and 3 very large trailers, and if you can back one of those you are more than capable of working out the aged care system!
Have a go at the information on the site. It’s a pain in the neck to get your head around it (ha ha) but it will help you to get on top of what is going on. If you were very clear that ‘no way’ M was going into a facility, you may not realise that you can spend all day every day there with M if you wish, get away when you want a break, and that it might be an option that works better for both of you.
Yours, Margaret
If you want to find out more, click on ‘resources’ at the top of your screen, then on any letter (eg M for Medicaid) to find articles, old questions and discussions about that particular topic. Understanding the system sometimes (certainly not always) means you can get more help, but at least you can work out what’s going on, what’s possible, and when what you have chosen to do has problems that you can’t fix.
If you have more questions for us, please post them and people will try to help!
First, you need to identify exactly what care your mom needs: someone to keep an eye on her for a couple of hours, cook or reheat meals, assist transfers or monitor walker or wheelchair use, etc. Using your needs list you con consider potential caregivers. Do you have aunts, uncles, cousins, Mom's friends who would be willing and able to help? The Area Agency on Aging may know about an adult day care program at little or no cost. My mom qualified for a program where they sent a van for transportation of her in her wheelchair for about 6 hours a day. Ask at local churches; sometimes there is a retired couple or nurse that's willing to help you out. Local nursing schools can sometimes be a resource if you have a little money to offer. The AAA have me good ideas on free and low cost programs we could use.
I'm so burned out there is no local resources other than driving down to Chicago which is a two and a half hour drive to talk to anyone. I'm old school, zoom meetings are not for me.
They make more money than I do in a week so they have to be skimming money. I received a oops email from my company and that's how I was able to see that.
Mom Is very picky who she wants at her house, and my company will not send over anyone to meet her first, they just want to send any person, If it's a guy she'd have a conniption fit, and if it was a person with a foreign dialect who she cannot understand she would go ballistic. I think I have to go and find another company that actually cares about their clients and employees instead of just about money. I found out this company is Ukraine owned, The CEO isn't even in the US
I got denied for SSI just like everyone does so I have a lawyer now, and that'll take forever as usual.