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So here's a dilemma. Long story. Mom and I bought a house together 30 years ago. I met a nice woman and got married 18 years ago. Mom moved out, wife and I paid mortgage, taxes, repairs, utilities, everything. Mortgage is now paid off.


Mom could never decide what she wanted to sell her share of the house for, and unfortunately we never took mom's name off deed or mortgage. Mom's been living with another son from different marriage. Mom has been showing signs of dementia, refuses to go to doctor doesn't think anything's wrong etc etc.
How on Earth do I go about Medicaid planning and as partial owner what legal nightmare do I face when mom needs placement in nursing home ? I feel so stupid for not finding a way of buying her share when she was healthy. We had financial issues, planned on paying off mortgage, mom was always so healthy and we thought we'd have more time, and could buy her share after we paid off original mortgage. How wrong we were. I know I'll need an elder lawyer. I'm in Massachusetts. Has anyone else been thru this or am I just an idiot ??

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I’d suggest a real estate atty. The mom with dementia is to me just a part of a much bigger problem. Your going to talk with your real estate atty as to the feasibility of debiting mom for her share of costs over time that you have paid for & that gets factored in against her share of the value of the property. It’s a forensics accounting project. Divorce attys work with real estate atty to do stuff like this to determine equitable contribution figures in contentious divorces. & your going to get a appraisal done on the place as well to place value on.

Moms going to need to get $ from her % ownership. But I bet you can get it reduced by costs you paid.

But the wild card in possibly doing this is the half brother imo. So what’s the relationship between you and the him? Would he be supportive of your doing this? Or would he be home is worth 450k and you owe mom 225k? If this is likely, then that real estate atty is going to be real important for you to have.

but you eventually have to do something. You going to be peeved & your wife really really peeved if half Bro has mom go into a NH and applies for LTC NH Medicaid for her and you find that Medicaid has placed a lien for 2 or 3 years of her LTC Medicaid costs on the property.
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Don’t know the answer. Utilizing the services of an attorney is wise.

You’re not an idiot, just didn’t think things through.

Best wishes to you.
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