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My mom lives in independent/assisted living. I suspect my mom is not taking showers. The reason for this is that when I moved her out of one assisted living place to another one near where I live, she seemed obviously not well groomed at all. At that time, I set up her shower with a chair, and helped her a few times, but then she insisted she can do it herself. I can't tell anymore if she does or not. She looks presentable and smells ok. Except sometimes her hair just is a mess and looks like it has not been shampooed. I think her way out of shampooing her hair is to go to the hair stylist at the facility and have it cut. Right now, the facility does not have a stylist and is waiting for another one to start back up. I am thinking maybe I can set it up with her to get her hair washed by the stylist once a week. And what I think is happening, is that she washes herself with a washcloth, but not actually get in the shower. The shower floor is flat and there is no step or anything to get in, and there is a chair for her to sit in. I think that maybe it's uncomfortable for her because she gets cold and its just hard for her to do. Is there any way to tell whats going on? or should I just not worry about it unless there are obvious signs like smelling bad?

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If your mother is living in Assisted Living, then she should have caregivers attending to her needs. You say she's living in Assisted Living/Independent Living......which is it? When my mother was in AL, she was showered 2x a week by the staff, had her hair washed too, and they dried her body afterward & helped her get into her nightgown or clothing too. They even applied lotion to her skin. If your mother really lives in AL, you can arrange such a service for her so you'll know shes showering regularly.

Now my mother lives in Memory Care and was terrified of falling in the shower. Many times there's a reason elders don't want to bathe....and we have to be detectives to try to find out why. So I tried all sorts of things to help her in the shower and nothing worked until I hit on water shoes. THAT did the trick, finally, and she feels ok in the shower, for the most part.

Wishing you the best of luck moving forward
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I wouldn't worry if she doesn't smell.

Get the once a week hair washing and get her some nice soap to use with her wash cloth.
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Probably nothing to worry about if you think she is washing herself with a washcloth and she doesn’t smell. But you know a nice warm shower does feel good, right? So I wonder, if you think she may be cold in the shower, could you address that somehow? Maybe a small electric space heater and warm up the room first. My mom does that. Talk to her about it.
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