My mom lives in independent/assisted living. I suspect my mom is not taking showers. The reason for this is that when I moved her out of one assisted living place to another one near where I live, she seemed obviously not well groomed at all. At that time, I set up her shower with a chair, and helped her a few times, but then she insisted she can do it herself. I can't tell anymore if she does or not. She looks presentable and smells ok. Except sometimes her hair just is a mess and looks like it has not been shampooed. I think her way out of shampooing her hair is to go to the hair stylist at the facility and have it cut. Right now, the facility does not have a stylist and is waiting for another one to start back up. I am thinking maybe I can set it up with her to get her hair washed by the stylist once a week. And what I think is happening, is that she washes herself with a washcloth, but not actually get in the shower. The shower floor is flat and there is no step or anything to get in, and there is a chair for her to sit in. I think that maybe it's uncomfortable for her because she gets cold and its just hard for her to do. Is there any way to tell whats going on? or should I just not worry about it unless there are obvious signs like smelling bad?
Now my mother lives in Memory Care and was terrified of falling in the shower. Many times there's a reason elders don't want to bathe....and we have to be detectives to try to find out why. So I tried all sorts of things to help her in the shower and nothing worked until I hit on water shoes. THAT did the trick, finally, and she feels ok in the shower, for the most part.
Wishing you the best of luck moving forward
Get the once a week hair washing and get her some nice soap to use with her wash cloth.