I don't get it. I tend to be a proactive sort of person, always anticipating the "what if" scenarios. So, I go to assisted living facilities to see what is out there. I go to nursing homes, same thing. But then I realize, I can't make reservations like for a hotel, so I ask myself why am I going through this process?
Well, I know if I don't, no one will help me with this process. I have no family whatsoever. Friends of my age have their own issues to deal with. I sort of feel like I am going in circles. How do "I plan" when I can't make reservations of a place I may like? And if I like one, I don't know how well I'll be when I do need their services. I don't want to have to do this research, homework, preliminary stuff, when I am very sick or even immobile. Am I making any sense? Yuk!!!
In short, being solo, how the heck do I prepare? Do I have to wait for a catastrophe? Then it will be too late for me to prepare or do anything.
After that, be sure to have regular, specific and even difficult conversations with these named allies so that as your ideas form (and possibly change) about how you want (or wish) the future of your life to unfold, they'll know what your thinking and what genuinely matters to you.
Finally, take action now to be as ready for the "catastrophe" as you call it. I just call it "the event" because it could be as common as a fall with serious injuries or a stroke or a life-altering diagnosis. Whatever your "event" might be, help yourself become as resilient as possible for whatever is next -- this could mean working on your wellbeing in arenas like your financial wellbeing, your physical wellbeing, your emotional wellbeing, etc. Who do you want to BE when your "event" occurs. When you know the answer to that question, you can focus your energy on making choices that support that healthy and well-prepared journey. Wishing you all the best as you move forward.
They will sometimes let you see common areas on your own, but prefer to show you rooms and explain the different sections of the facility and tell the type of patients that are there, i.e. Alzheimers patients are hopefully all in the same section. Go around just prior to lunch and they may provide you with lunch. It's good to know how the food is. Take note of the area for TV watching, the resident lounge, the dining room and the overall condition of the interior. Some will have an on-site salon. Look for whar appears to be overcrowding. The better facilities won't fill to capacity, but keep some empty rooms so that they can do roommate matching. It's OK to say that are looking for your own future. Their representative may tell you that your Physician will have to be involved to declare "reason to treat", so that will have any proper medication since you won't be able to take any medication should you be admitted. They always have transport provided to take you to and from medical appointments. There will be a physician that makes rounds ... referred to as a Hospitalist oftentimes. They will treat for general needs.
Hope this firsthand experience is helpful!
Trying to anticipate doesn't work except to know the basics.
Where to start?
With a visit to an elder law attorney. There you will go over options for management of your affairs when you are no longer able to manage them. You will have choices and should start sooner than later. You can have many money managers but likely the best for someone in your position is a Licensed Fiduciary. This person acts for you when you cannot do so any longer to pay your bills, keep track of finances and accounts, give you a spending account, report to you monthly the status of your affairs. Because Elder Law Attorneys work with them when they have court cases in which an elder has ended up in court due to no family, they are familiar with them and their fees, and have a list when needed.
Speak to your banker as to how to manage your accounts now and in the future.
The best laid plans of mice and men, as the saying goes, as we cannot predict and it's difficult to set things in place but you can find organizers for anything these days; just have to pay for them.
And read, read, read. There are so many books of advice.
Right now you are trying to operate out of all the fears of "what if". And if you currently have no will, no POA, no advance directive you are right to do so.
Start asking to tour Assisted or Independent living options.
Go to any Senior Support Communities such as The Village, On Lok in SF, and senior centers wherever YOU happen to live. All areas have them and they have good adisors often enough whether legal or financial or social worker types. You can share your concerns with others attending knitting, bridge, lectures and whatever else. You will get support and learn as you go.
Good luck to you.
A Place For Mom from its website may help.
My sister from Texas who is a retired social worker visited me in CA to seek CCRC places near me two years ago. The average cost the Bay Area is $4,000, about twice my income. All is self pay unless Medicare eligible.
I am almost 70 and we decided that I stay independent where I am until my early eighties to relocate since I am also alone. Unless an unexpected event happens. Update on where to go is Texas where my family lives.
I say Good Luck
You can actually make a plan - a living will, designating your preferences.
Keep in mind, choosing a care facility you like now, that facility can change over time, new ownership, new management, new staff, so that it may not be as appealing at an unknown future date in time.
Have you considered an assisted living facility which offers different levels of care housing, where you would move in and live with some independence while you are mobile, you will meet new friends and get to know the staff, and will have more eyes on you, more people to check in on you regularly, so that if and when something does happen, someone is there to respond and get you the help you need. The level of assistance provided changes as your needs change.
As you become less mobile, less independent, you have someone to come in and help. When it comes time for you to require skilled nursing, having an adjoining or neighboring nursing home will make it easy to transfer.
So, do your research, and make your plan. Create a living will, which can be done without designating a healthcare proxy. Make sure this document is in a prominent spot, hanging on a wall near your bed, or somewhere that first responders will see it. Provide your primary doctor with a copy.
I care for my immobile husband, who has dementia and is unable to communicate (due to stroke). I worry about something happening to me, heart attack, a fall, so I created an Emergency Information Packet, clearly labeled, hanging on the wall near my husband's bed. It contains emergency contacts, a brief summary of his medical condition, his doctor information, and medical POA, listing his son as secondary, if I am unable to make decisions for him. If he had a DNR, that would be included as well. If I am unable to care for him, he will need to be admitted to a skilled nursing facility.
You may not need help now and are an independent person. But we all know that can change in a heartbeat. (literally and figuratively)
In Independent Living you can continue your current activities and possibly get involved with even more. (and may Communities have "Sister" communities that you might even be able to stay at if you are traveling.)
when you feel you need more help that what is provided in Independent you can easily transition to Assisted.
As you age if you need Memory Care or Skilled Nursing that would also be available.
I would urge you to talk to an Elder Care Attorney to make sure that all the legal stuff you need done is done.
They can help with putting proper POA's in place and making sure that your Advance Directives are in order.
Maybe you can get ready to go to an assisted living place now? They have activities and socializing. But I only suggest this if you can afford a good one with a good reputation. Best of luck. ❤️
How much money you have will determine where you go. Assisted Livings and Memory cares are private pay. So are independent living places. If you have the money there are Communities that start with Independent living, when ur ready, you transition to AL or MC. If needed, eventually Long-term care. You could talk to an Elder Lawyer to see if they can help. Maybe a Care manager that can help you make decisions.
Allow Medicare.gov to be your friend. There is a lot of information available on their website that can assist you with your plan. In this case, for would want to look at Medicare.gov Care Compare; you can even ask your primary care doctor about this possess because usually your doctor is going to be involved in some capacity.
You do want to do some financial planning: reviewing insurance documents, understanding out-of-pocket costs, and what is covered. Consider applying for Medicaid early if needed, because it is a long application process. I do agree that you should consult a Medicaid planner or elder law attorney.
Because of your situation, you would want to consult someone about your options when it comes to a living will and power of attorney ( medical and financial).
Your finances will be a big part of this journey, and there are many paths you can take. But knowing where you are currently financially will allow you to focus on what needs to be done and when you will need different services. You may even be in a position where you can utilize home care insurance.