I'm trying to set boundaries with my elderly mother. She insists on living "independently" but constantly wants and needs me to do things for her. These things can be anything from simple daily living tasks (such as coming to her house to get something she wants off a top shelf in her cupboard or bring in her mail so she doesn't have to go outside to the mailbox) to serious immediate needs (such as picking her up off the floor when she falls).
This situation is of my own making. I tried to be more helpful and accommodating to Mom after my Dad got ill 2 years ago. I've been even more helpful since he passed away several months ago. She has come to rely on my level of "jumping" when she calls.
It is time for me to pull back and set some boundaries with her, but I want to do so in a kind and loving manner. My mom is a master manipulator. She tends to use pity and anger if I don't acquiesce to her demands. Does anyone have any suggestions about how I can do this?