I have been through a lot the past 6 years with my parents (longer with my dad), my father's death, father's estate issues, mother's behaviors, step-dad's illness, son entering and graduating college, another child about to enter college, ups and downs of husband's business, in-law's changing health and mental status, taking 2 leaves of absence from my own job due to caregiving, school closure (teacher) due to Covid, etc...
I am on medication for anxiety, depression and PTSD. The majority of the time, I do well, I eat healthy and exercise almost daily, I connect with friends and family daily and have 2 sweet dogs. However, I have been questioning so many things. I recently turned 55 and question, "Is watching decline and eventual death of self, family and friends all there is left for me?" I understand the cycle of life, but how do you just keep going and living life in the meantime? I feel like the past few years have brought problems, anxiety and fear at every turn.
I am into a cycle of worry that I will cause the same pain and struggles for my own children, that I have experienced with my parents. I just want to feel more positive about something and stop worrying about the future.
Thank you for any advice, insight and feedback. This is a great forum.