Can anyone give tips on how to make a 100th birthday party a truly loving and great experience for their loved one?

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Mother sleeps alot. She and I stay in a senior facility in Independent Living. I am her full time caregiver. We have a very nice experience here coming from a "rogue facility" that was a nightmare. My brother, sister-in-law and a cousin represented the dysfunction in our family where they went along with whatever the rogue faciity did or said. My brother has come around to support me being Mother's full time caregiver as when the rogue facility cut my hours, he was astonished at the $25.00 per hour charge for full time Nurses Aids after Mother was injured from the facility's negligence. My sister-in-law has avoided any warmth towards Mother for the last 30 or 40 years and it turned out my flamboyant cousin was an instigator, in tight with management with ties to them because he is booked as an entertainer several times a year. I told him we are family, he should have come to me and Mother and found out what she wanted and what I, as her caregiver, daughter and POA of Health Care thought was best. He is very judgmental with a superiority complex. I told him that instead of meeting with management and encouraging them to take over care of Mother he should have talked to us and clued us in because we are family. It was a disaster for Mother. She has not regained her vitality or mobility but has some improvement since we got away from that situation. It was very stressful. Mother is loving and cheerful, is aware and social. She has recovered mentally from all her falls. She now has meals in the dining room and sits with very nice ladies and every day or every other day she takes part in an activity or we go out for a meal, or to an appointment or for a walk outside, with Mother in the wheel chair. As far as our guest list, we want the two ladies from our table, 5 generations of our immediate family. We also are also close with Mother's 2nd husband's family. They have been calling and are excited about Mother's 100th birthday. I have lost track of my other cousins although we were close at one time. I do not want to bring my cousin here as he has been too negative about me and Mother. Mother says she just wants him to leave us alone. I don't think my brother and sister-in-law would come as they will be in our city the end of this month and they do not often travel. I think if a few of us got together and sang one of mother's favorite songs and we all sang Happy Birthday that would be good. Any experiences or ideas would be appreciated.

Answers 1 to 10 of 22
What an incredible milestone! You are an amazing daughter, so thoughtful and kind to make sure her special day is celebrated. I think your idea sounds wonderful. I think the most important thing is to be surrounded by family and friends. And to take lots and lots of pictures to mark the special day.
Top Answer
Invite the people that you want there to celebrate, forget the rest. If anyone says anything tell people that you were limited by space.
Have a nice cake, don't forget the ice cream.
Enjoy the day!!
Oh, and I think it would be awesome to get 100 signatures or if possible 100 birthday cards for her.
Put out the word to any clubs, organizations, church, etc. where you are a member and ask them to send cards for mom's 100th. You will be surprised at how many will do that. I belong to a fan club and after I posted a request mom got cards from around the world. If you have time, you can request a card from the President of the U.S., via your member of Congress. It might or might not happen. Mom never received anything. There is quite a bit of advance notice required.

Did/Does mom have favorite hobbies or interests? My mom loved to bake so I put together a booklet of her favorite recipes, some with brief stories as to how the recipe was acquired or how often we served it. Include a few old photos too. If you don't have a scanner, I'm sure someone at the facility does and would help out.

Make a big sign for the door, invite all the neighbors. Everyone loves a party.

Agree with everyone here. Do not invite the creeps. My mother is in much the same situation as your mother, just had her 91st birthday, happy people were there, her best memory now is she had all the chocolate cake she wanted, and it was lit with sparklers which she'd never seen. Nice. We got her a bracelet with all of her grandchildren's initials and stones, next year will be a bracelet with her great-grandchildren. BTW, it went too long, she paid the next day, so try to keep it short. Good luck to you.
Also - my mother did not want to invite the people at her AL, it was just too much for her to take in. So ask her what she wants, then take it with a grain of salt.
We just had my mom's 100th birthday in January. We have lots of cousins and her Polish family has no problem with family get togethers. We put a blurb in the town newspaper (a small weekly) with her picture and a brief biography. The State of CT and the town sent her plaques. They have to be informed, of course.. One cousin wanted the state representative to come to present the plaque. I said 'Absolutely not. This is a family and close friends event. If he comes, I will personally escort him out!'
We had Polish small plates and fruit for eats. Flowers on the tables are nice. My son give a very sweet talk about his "feisty " grandmother and a few other cousins said a few words. The family and friends welcomed the opportunity to meet and an excuse to travel some distances for the get together. She enjoyed the family around her.
It was simple, lasting about 2 - 3 hours. I have to say that it was indeed a happy, memorable event.  Be firm with anyone who wants to overdo it.  It's your idea and you know her needs best. 
Happy party!
there is a blog here @AgingCare.com where a lady made recordings of songs from the era of her mother. This would be a wonderful addition to her party! Awesome to turn 100. My Ray will be 96 in September!

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/dementia-care-surrounded-by-sound-428032.htm
What a great day to celebrate. We got as many people together for my grandmothers 100. What a great day. Photos, cupcakes and family. The photos were so important because within 6 months we lost my mom, my aunt then my grandmother. I have a photo of the 3 of them together, it was very powerful for me. Celebrate the day! She wanted to get to 100.
We did the 90 cards for my moms 90th. That's a nice way to extend the party. My ( husbands ) 90 yr old aunt tells a story about her great grandmothers 100th. She was from Louisiana and wanted an outdoor dance floor and a Creole band with an accordion player and fiddler. She wanted to dance. She lived in a little house in her grandsons backyard. He made sure she got it. The photo showed a little lady in white sitting besides a huge white cake with all the candles. For whatever reason my aunt only has that picture, none of the party participants. There are newspaper clippings where the local paper interviewed her. This was in the 40s. She lived for 10 more months. For my aunts 90th she had a party in her home but her request was for photos of all her extended family and her husbands family for a new photo album. We call it her Face Book. So we had fun making phone calls and requesting the photos and then putting them in her album. It was easy with a smart phone. No mailing necessary. I just printed them out at Costco. She has dementia so is very proud when she can name a few of them. She doesnt remember the day now but loves to hear about it. We also had a Creole musician with an accordian as a nod to her ancestry.  
I have a great aunt in my family who is 103. For her 100th she had a tame dinner at a country club. Just a cake and close family since then. It is a wonderful occasion but can be very tiring for the bd girl so be careful.
I remember a previous post and am so glad that you and your mom are doing better now.
You've done a wonderful job protecting and caring for your mom. I hope she has a great 100 th.
About a month before my aunt's 100th birthday, I sent a letter to every living president, as well as the pope, letting them know of this milestone birthday. Each and every one of them responded with a very kind letter.
My aunt was so happy to have received the letters, that she hung them on the wall in her room of her long term stay facility (nursing home). She told me that she wanted all her friends and the workers in the facility to see them. She was proud to have received them.
Happy 100th birthday to your mom!
While turning 100 is a great celebration, if your mom sleeps a lot and has not regained her vitality, I'd try to keep the occasion short and sweet. I don't know your mom's state of mind, but, I know some seniors are not really into large groups of people and noise. It annoys them. I'd take that into consideration, before inviting a crowd or arrange for her to retire to her room if she gets tired.

I hope she has a lovely 100 birthday!

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