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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Routine. As boring as it sounds doing the same thing every day will help. I think things become more of a muscle memory than a brain memory. This includes getting up at the same time every day, going to bed at the same time.
Posting a checklist might help or not. After a while you may not "see" it. I have a funny story. A few years ago I figured I would get all my papers ready to bring to the guy that did my taxes. I was prepared..I got this all done about 2 weeks before my appointment. I went through all my bills, I broke everything down. I put everything I needed in an envelope and wrote TAXES on it in HUGE letters and stuck it on the door to the garage. The door is metal so I used a HUGE red magnet. The day of my appointment I could not find that envelope, I looked everywhere for it. I had to call and postpone the appointment because I could not find the envelope. I went to leave later that day and there it was...On the door to the garage, held fast to the door with a HUGE red magnet. I had seen it so often in the week before the appointment that I no longer "saw" it. So a check list might help for a little while it might not work as time goes on.
The thing that might help the most is accepting the limitations and working to avoid the stress that any disease can cause. It may be that as you or the person you are caring for declines you have to change your schedule a bit and start getting ready to walk out the door 30 minutes earlier than you did a year ago or even 6 months ago. Don't stress about the little stuff and realize that most of the stuff is little stuff. Pick your battles. Does it really matter if mom doesn't take a shower today? Does it really matter if she wants to wear the yellow polka dot blouse with the orange plaid pants? (ya might not want to leave the house that day though🤣) And if there is an Adult Day Program get your loved one involved in that. the routine of getting on the bus or van, going to a place where there are other people, activities can help keep a person engaged and active. Not to mention it gives both of you a break. Know your limitations. Know and accept what you can do, what you can't do and what you won't do. Making the decision to place someone in any facility is difficult but know that it is because their care is more than what you can safely do at home. Make medical decisions with your HEAD not your HEART.
When my uncle was diagnosed with MCI he went to some classes put on by the Alzheimer's society that gave him coping strategies, you should check if there's anything like that available near you. Uncle fortunately never progressed to true dementia but the tips and techniques he learned, as well as meeting with others like himself, were very helpful.
You can post a checklist on the back of their door but will they remember to even look at it? Even if they look at it, they might not be able to get through the whole list, or remember where they put the items, since it's the short-term memory that goes first.
Extending "independence" is not what would be happening. "Orbiting" in order to maintain the appearance of independence is what takes place. My Mom is 95 and lives next door to me. She has moderate dementia. I got her a special phone where I control everything from an app on my phone. It shows her a large text alert to "Put in hearing aids". She will look at it and not do it. Or it will say, "Battery low" and not plug it in. It texts it and also says it audibly. She still doesn't do it.
Once one's short-term memory goes, a lot goes away with it.
Excellent answer, Geaton. People think of dementia as ONLY memory loss, but it's also loss of executive function. Even if there are reminders, such as "brush teeth," they might not know the meaning of "brush" or "teeth" or be able to execute the task. My LO's toothbrush ended up in the toilet sometimes, probably because he associated a toilet brush with the toilet, was unable to differentiate between the two brushes, and no longer knew how to execute either tooth brushing or toilet cleaning.
Early onset dementia is when a person is diagnosed at an early age, such as age 35 rather than 75. EARLY dementia is the first stages of dementia in an age group where dementia diagnosis isn't surprising, like 65 and up. They're different things. Independence for a 35-year-old has different expectations from independence for an elder who may have already lost a good bit of independence due to other issues by the time of diagnosis.
As for memory hacks, you can try. You can post signs, but by the time they need these reminders, they might not be able to read them, or they can't connect the word itself with the thing you're reminding them of. Like, "Take your phone" won't work if the patient thinks it's the TV remote. Or doesn't understand your words due to brain scramble. And you don't necessarily know yet what they don't know, plus it can change daily. One day they might think their shoe is a toilet, the next day it's a shoe.
I've taken care of 4 family dementia patients so far and haven't found memory prompts effective outside of the very very early stage when someone unacquainted with them doesn't notice their struggles. That stage usually passes fast.
When dementia walks in the door, independence soon walks out. And that's the unfortunate truth. Instead of spending time on memory hacks, you'd be better off investigating memory care facilities or trained home health professionals so you'll be ready with a plan.
I see what you mean with your example. So I would say a good phone, a good call devise for falls, and even perhaps considering getting the home safety checked for grab bars, raised seats, and perhaps a camera system monitored by family.
What is more difficult in all this is executive functioning. My brother had early onset "probable Lewy's dementia" which was diagnosed by symptoms. He could have remained independent but for his not wanting to depend on others, and but for his poor balance and inability to drive in a town that really required that for shopping and etc. Executive functioning also a fear and he made me his POA/Trustee so I could handle bills and banking, allowing him a small allowance account I could monitor. Eventually the thought was that the balance was just too uncertain to risk staying alone, and he went into ALF.
Your question is a good one, but it is always a danger being alone once this diagnosis is in. Wishing you best of luck.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As boring as it sounds doing the same thing every day will help. I think things become more of a muscle memory than a brain memory.
This includes getting up at the same time every day, going to bed at the same time.
Posting a checklist might help or not.
After a while you may not "see" it.
I have a funny story.
A few years ago I figured I would get all my papers ready to bring to the guy that did my taxes. I was prepared..I got this all done about 2 weeks before my appointment.
I went through all my bills, I broke everything down. I put everything I needed in an envelope and wrote TAXES on it in HUGE letters and stuck it on the door to the garage. The door is metal so I used a HUGE red magnet.
The day of my appointment I could not find that envelope, I looked everywhere for it. I had to call and postpone the appointment because I could not find the envelope.
I went to leave later that day and there it was...On the door to the garage, held fast to the door with a HUGE red magnet.
I had seen it so often in the week before the appointment that I no longer "saw" it.
So a check list might help for a little while it might not work as time goes on.
The thing that might help the most is accepting the limitations and working to avoid the stress that any disease can cause.
It may be that as you or the person you are caring for declines you have to change your schedule a bit and start getting ready to walk out the door 30 minutes earlier than you did a year ago or even 6 months ago.
Don't stress about the little stuff and realize that most of the stuff is little stuff.
Pick your battles. Does it really matter if mom doesn't take a shower today? Does it really matter if she wants to wear the yellow polka dot blouse with the orange plaid pants? (ya might not want to leave the house that day though🤣)
And if there is an Adult Day Program get your loved one involved in that. the routine of getting on the bus or van, going to a place where there are other people, activities can help keep a person engaged and active. Not to mention it gives both of you a break.
Know your limitations.
Know and accept what you can do, what you can't do and what you won't do.
Making the decision to place someone in any facility is difficult but know that it is because their care is more than what you can safely do at home.
Make medical decisions with your HEAD not your HEART.
Extending "independence" is not what would be happening. "Orbiting" in order to maintain the appearance of independence is what takes place. My Mom is 95 and lives next door to me. She has moderate dementia. I got her a special phone where I control everything from an app on my phone. It shows her a large text alert to "Put in hearing aids". She will look at it and not do it. Or it will say, "Battery low" and not plug it in. It texts it and also says it audibly. She still doesn't do it.
Once one's short-term memory goes, a lot goes away with it.
Are the memory hacks for you? Or someone else?
As for memory hacks, you can try. You can post signs, but by the time they need these reminders, they might not be able to read them, or they can't connect the word itself with the thing you're reminding them of. Like, "Take your phone" won't work if the patient thinks it's the TV remote. Or doesn't understand your words due to brain scramble. And you don't necessarily know yet what they don't know, plus it can change daily. One day they might think their shoe is a toilet, the next day it's a shoe.
I've taken care of 4 family dementia patients so far and haven't found memory prompts effective outside of the very very early stage when someone unacquainted with them doesn't notice their struggles. That stage usually passes fast.
When dementia walks in the door, independence soon walks out. And that's the unfortunate truth. Instead of spending time on memory hacks, you'd be better off investigating memory care facilities or trained home health professionals so you'll be ready with a plan.
So I would say a good phone, a good call devise for falls, and even perhaps considering getting the home safety checked for grab bars, raised seats, and perhaps a camera system monitored by family.
What is more difficult in all this is executive functioning.
My brother had early onset "probable Lewy's dementia" which was diagnosed by symptoms. He could have remained independent but for his not wanting to depend on others, and but for his poor balance and inability to drive in a town that really required that for shopping and etc. Executive functioning also a fear and he made me his POA/Trustee so I could handle bills and banking, allowing him a small allowance account I could monitor. Eventually the thought was that the balance was just too uncertain to risk staying alone, and he went into ALF.
Your question is a good one, but it is always a danger being alone once this diagnosis is in. Wishing you best of luck.