No one else in family understands. My nan is showing all the signs of dementia, she also has random outbreaks where she just cry’s her eyes out, my mother suggested moving into my nan's house to help my uncle support her but she lost it and thinks everyone is against her. I’m the only one she’ll speak to now. I don’t want to jeopardize the position I have with her now but I can’t see her like this, I just want to help. Any advice?

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That's a tough situation. I might consult with an attorney in her jurisdiction to get the options that are available. Does she have a designated Durable POA or Healthcare POA? Getting her to a doctor for a checkup and evaluation would be a priority. The doctor may be able to help. She could have a UTI, medication reaction, vitamin deficiency or something causing her to act odd or it could be dementia. Sometimes, it's possible to placate the person to see a doctor, but, sometimes, it's not possible to stay on their good side, since they may totally resist being cared for and protected.
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Listen to Ahmijoy, Dyer. She is speaking from wisdom and experience. A loving mother couldn't have given you better advice!
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Ahmijoy Aug 2018
Thank you! What a nice compliment!
It’s very kind of you to consider moving in with your Nan to help take care of her. But, think long and hard before you give up your life to do so. Will you have to give up a job? You don’t mention how old you are or how old your Nan is, but 24/7 caregiving is stressful and very difficult. To be very honest, dementia is not a predictable disease. Nan may like you now, bit there is no guarantee she will next week. Her dementia will progress and get worse. She will soon become too much for your uncle, even with your help.

Do not let yourself be guilted or talked into giving everything up to take care of your Nan. If this is your mother’s mother, your mom needs to step up to take care of her or make other arrangements for her care. At the least, she needs to get Nan to the doctor to see if there are any medications Nan could take to control her crying jags and anxiety.

You can help take care of Nan, visit her and be with her, but I wouldn’t move in.
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