If this problem isn't about resistance to bathing in general, consider a large paper calendar where Dad can see it. Mark his shower days on it, along with anything else you want him to attend to. Many people with dementia know where they are, but don't know when they are. This is a much needed anchor for those who can understand and use it as a tool for better self control. It is also empirical evidence for those of us trying to help them with time mangement.
Tracie, first of all time has little or no meaning at all for most dementia (or for some older) persons. Ask them sneaky little questions, like: what year is it, how many hours in a day -- as a plaything, like:. You may ask me a question, then it is my turn to ask you. Time has no meaning any longer. That also is a reason the dement person asking where her mother is, then cries, because the caregiver said: "your mother died 40 years ago" No she did not, I just saw her a few days ago" So if the person tells you he just took a shower, he does remember the shower but when ? "Just". No day, no time, He does not know; we are the nitpickers, it has meaning for us, because we keep track of it, If you keep on correcting him, he may becomes defensive, because you keep on contradicting his reality. So just let it slide, don't argue.
If he really smells bad, tell him that you need his clothes to launder, and maybe he'll like you to wash his back while you're here ??
Bring some nice smelling soap, or baby shampoo that does not make eyes tear.
Remember also that standing under the shower and having to close your eyes makes a lot of "normal" people dizzy and is an unpleasant experience
fear of slipping and falling could be a reason.
Is there a grab-bar to hold onto ?
If you had any kids, remember what they were like when they were 4, 5 years old and you out-smarted them. He is at the same age level.
TracieSchubert: No doubt you would have better luck getting a male aide to come into the home to shower him since he perchance is reluctant to respond positively to you. Many times the individual has a warranted fear of falling so it's better to use someone who is trained with prompting/success/able to squelch the fear.
Absolutely! My mom had an awful fear of falling in the shower. She had Parkinson’s disease and dementia. Her fear was justified.
She would often say that her brain sent the signal to more but due to her neurological issues with Parkinson’s disease that her body couldn’t follow the signals. I am quite sure that this was frustrating and also frightening to her.
Get a certified Nurse assistant thru Senior care they get a plastic bench chair in the shower , slide the person across and shower with a hand held water head .
This is one of the most challenging tasks of the caregiver. Mostly because your loved ones are afraid of water. Right now, I can only give my husband a sponge bath once a week. But I wash his private parts daily when he is on the commode. That’s the best I can do.
You may want to confer with the patient 's PCP who can refer you to some home care services to consider coming into the home to assist the pt with ADL'S ( such as showers). Or depending on how far along the dementia is, you may want to have the Dr. refer for a hospice assessment for possible hospice home services. Both " home care" or " hospice" ( in home care) can provide CNA'S skilled and qualified to assist ( as well as other medical professionals such a as RN, SW, etc) to help relieve the burdens of care.
Sorry... posted too fast and don't see a wait to edit/delete. I see that my reply helps not at all and you may already be on the 1x/week schedule. GOOD LUCK.
Same problem I've had. I think hiring help is better, as others have stated, they oftentimes do not listen to family members. I've gotten tough, I've asked, I've told, and no dice. She (my aunt) lets the caregiver help her with bathing, but not me.
Like said on here many times, you don't ask him to take a shower or if he's taken a shower, you TELL him that it's now time to take a shower and lead him to the bathroom. And if need be help him get in and shower him. Now I know that this is your father so you may not be comfortable doing that, so perhaps it's best to hire an aide to come twice a week to shower him, as the elderly don't need to shower every day, and plus they often listen to strangers better than they do to family members. You can also use the extra large body wipes and the waterless shampoo and conditioner caps for the in-between times if needed. Also make sure that you have a shower chair, grab bars, and a slip proof mat before he gets in so that he feels safe. Good luck!
This is such a common problem! I was fortunate not to have this issue with my mother on a regular basis.
My mom was afraid of falling. She was also exhausted most of the time. See if you can determine what the underlying reason is for not wanting to shower.
I also found that my mother listened to others better than when I told her to do something. Do you have help? Maybe, hire a caregiver to help with bathing.
My mother did not like water beading down on her face, and would refuse showers or try to get out early. So we shifted to baths, she was far more welcoming to the idea. We still come every other day in her care facility to give her a bath.
You have to be careful, and supervisor them, my mother is also on the young side. That is how we combated the shower issue though, your milage may vary.
If that does nor work have you tried a sponge bath?
That also is a reason the dement person asking where her mother is, then cries, because the caregiver said: "your mother died 40 years ago" No she did not, I just saw her a few days ago"
So if the person tells you he just took a shower, he does remember the shower
but when ? "Just". No day, no time, He does not know; we are the nitpickers, it has meaning for us, because we keep track of it,
If you keep on correcting him, he may becomes defensive, because you keep on contradicting his reality. So just let it slide, don't argue.
If he really smells bad, tell him that you need his clothes to launder, and maybe
he'll like you to wash his back while you're here ??
Bring some nice smelling soap, or baby shampoo that does not make eyes tear.
Remember also that standing under the shower and having to close your eyes
makes a lot of "normal" people dizzy and is an unpleasant experience
fear of slipping and falling could be a reason.
Is there a grab-bar to hold onto ?
If you had any kids, remember what they were like when they were 4, 5 years old and you out-smarted them. He is at the same age level.
Absolutely! My mom had an awful fear of falling in the shower. She had Parkinson’s disease and dementia. Her fear was justified.
She would often say that her brain sent the signal to more but due to her neurological issues with Parkinson’s disease that her body couldn’t follow the signals. I am quite sure that this was frustrating and also frightening to her.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-help-with-bathing-and-personal-hygiene-top-tips-from-caregivers-212010.htm
At least now we have her scheduled to have her hair washed by weekly at the beauty parlor.
I will follow this to garner some new ideas!
Now I know that this is your father so you may not be comfortable doing that, so perhaps it's best to hire an aide to come twice a week to shower him, as the elderly don't need to shower every day, and plus they often listen to strangers better than they do to family members.
You can also use the extra large body wipes and the waterless shampoo and conditioner caps for the in-between times if needed.
Also make sure that you have a shower chair, grab bars, and a slip proof mat before he gets in so that he feels safe.
Good luck!
My mom was afraid of falling. She was also exhausted most of the time. See if you can determine what the underlying reason is for not wanting to shower.
I also found that my mother listened to others better than when I told her to do something. Do you have help? Maybe, hire a caregiver to help with bathing.
Best wishes to you.
You have to be careful, and supervisor them, my mother is also on the young side. That is how we combated the shower issue though, your milage may vary.
If that does nor work have you tried a sponge bath?