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My husband is close to end-stage dementia , is non-verbal, incontinent, and pretty much just wanders from room to room in our house. My intention is to keep him at home until this becomes impossible to manage. My son is his full-time caregiver during the week while I am working. He still is able to walk very slowly, and has no trouble eating or drinking. Is there anyone else in this situation that has found some activities to keep his mind or body engaged? I have been on several tours of MC's and honestly don't ever see anyone in this stage of dementia that appears to be engaged in anything and just wanders the halls. His friends appear to have abandoned him when they learned of his condition. Only occasional family visits offer any distraction but not for long.

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I would take your husband to an Adult Daycare Center as they offer all kinds of fun activities to keep the folks as busy as they want to be. And he could be there up to 5 days a week and up to 8 hours a day.
They offer breakfast, lunch and a snack, and even have spa days where he could get a shower and a shave. And they will pick up your husband if needed and drop him back off.
Of course there's a cost for this but they are worth every penny. In the city I live it's $55/day. And if money is an issue they do offer financial help, and if your husband is a veteran the VA helps pay for some of it as well.
To me that would be the best and easiest solution, and your husband will love it.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Foamergirl Aug 3, 2025
I wish we had adult day care where we live, even non-medical transportation. My husband would benefit. Our area is so rural. I think trying to move him elsewhere would disrupt him a lot.
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My father had dementia. In my experience with his progression ,music is very powerful. Singing to the patient ( some will try to sing along ) , letting them listen to their favorite music , have someone play an instrument ( guitar , piano, other ). Despite their prognosis , the human connection to be loved and cared for doesn’t diminish . Hold their hand, hug them , and tell them how much you love them. Talk with them relay events of your day, the past week , let them hear your voice. Brush their hair, paint their nails , put lotion on their hands . Take them outside in the wheelchair , let them hear birds and smell flowers, view nature . Some appreciate having small tasks such as folding dinner napkins, working on easy toddler puzzles. Always treat them with the kindness you would wish to receive . Blessings and prayers to you .
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karenj900 Aug 3, 2025
Good suggestions. I had been tuning the TV to a music channel that plays 50s and 60s and it does appear to calm him but I didn't think of playing an instrument for him.
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Blocks
Duplo (child size lego blocks they are much larger than the lego's)
Children's puzzles. Many of the ones for little kids are wood so they are easier to handle
Children's cards. Typically made of a heavy cardboard and are over size.
Coloring book and either crayons or colored pencils.
If your husband liked building things many craft stores have kits to make bird houses, bird feeders, cars, trucks and decorations.

Please keep in mind that with dementia and the decline the body begins to shutdown and simple acts of walking, processing information taken in by the eyes and ears even processing the breakfast he had takes a lot of energy. There is nothing wrong with letting him sit and nap.
My Husband went from sleeping a "normal" 8 to 10 hours and in the 12 years of "living" with dementia the last month he was sleeping 22 to 23 hours a day. the 12 to 6 months prior to that he was sleeping 18 to 20 hours.

If your husband is not on Hospice it might be time to call and ask for an evaluation. I can not begin to tell you the help you will get. And the support you will get is nothing short of amazing.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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karenj900 Aug 3, 2025
Most of these are beyond him but thanks for the tips about the sleeping. good to know what we are looking for in the future. He will have his annual assessment at the end of August. He is currently sleeping at night about 13-14 hours with a singular nap during the day of another 2. sundowners usually kicks in around 4 and lasts till bedtime.
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Music has been the best with my dad. I even get him to dance with me sometimes, I mostly just move his arms & have fun. He humors me & let’s me do it for a few minutes.😂

Also, does he fidget with his hands?
Dad is beyond puzzles & games, but we got him things to fidget with. Sensory items that don’t take any know how. Fidget bands, keys, a ball that can be shaped in different ways. We had to be careful as he will put things in his mouth thinking it’s candy. This worked for awhile. He doesn’t have much interest in them now.
Now he has a medium sized stuffed, weighted puppy that works to calm him when he seems unsettled. He holds it & talks to it. We were unsure about this as it seems like we’re treating him as a child, but it’s the best $20 we’ve spent.
But music still helps too.
It’s an ever changing challenge, trying to find something that they can find any interest in, that calms them, or lifts them up depending on their mood. I hope you find something that works for your husband & his specific circumstances.
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Reply to Ltracy
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Definitely make a picture board or picture book. People and places he is likely to recognize from his past and present. Make sure pictures are clear (some older ones are not). Allow him to peruse, may elicit memories/stories from his past. Use to initiate conversation with him. Don't ask "Who is this?" - instead ask " Dad, tell me about this picture." Even if he makes up a story, it's engaging his brain.
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My brother and I got my dad an electronic picture frame and he will spend hours looking at the pictures we constantly send to the frame. We send him current pictures and pictures from his and our childhoods. I think it triggers good memories for him, as he smiles watching the frame slideshow. When the aids come to check on him, he will point to the frame and they watch with him and talk about the pictures. One of the best things we could have done for dad.
https://www.amazon.com/Frameo-Electronic-Auto-Rotate-Mountable-Instantly
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Reply to Sprigsofholly
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My uncle was an auto mechanic. His kids got him a toolbox with various screws ,bolts, screwdrivers etc and a small engine to tinker with. He couldn't do much with them but he tried...for hours. Anything from his past you could set up for him to do. Playing with Lincoln logs or a kids play barn with latches and doors. A stuffed dog or cat
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Reply to Kalamazootx1
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I’ve read some caregivers offer a basket of towels to fold. Very easy jig-saw puzzles. Drawing. Coloring. Call the Area on Aging, see if they have people who will come to visit him. Some even bring their therapy dog. If your husband had specific interests or hobbies, maybe a few pictures would be nice for him to look at. Listening to favorite music. A pod cast to enjoy.
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Maybe any task like folding towels, napkins, sorting a "junk drawer" that you make up.
Or a simple version of what he liked to do when he was not like this.
I've heard of "busy quilts" being made to keep hands busy that have things for them to fiddle with.
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Reply to TiredSarah822
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I purchased magnet tiles for building things . Crayloa markers and book to color. A red medium size ball to play bounce and catch. Water painting for dementia patients on Amazon.
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