My Mother is in an ALF and continually refuses to get out of the shower.

Mom needs to be in Memory care. An AL is just that, they assist. The resident needs to be fairly independent.

The one reason my Mom was in AL was because I did not have to deal with things like this anymore. The aides should know how to coax someone out of a shower. Sovshe gets mad. You turn the shower off and say "Time is up". If Mom is giving herself her own showers maybe time to up her careplan.

Discuss with administration.
Not good for her skin.
Get it written into care plan that she needs help with shower and an assistant to turn off the water, usher her safely out and get toweled off.
Oh, those hot showers! I sooooo identify with her wish never to leave it!

Maybe the staff would like a simple automated shower water control that requires no plumbing. The remote control can be mounted a long way from the shower.

https://frankseasytechcorner.substack.com/p/how-to-add-push-button-control-of

I have the same problem with my DH. He stays up all night because he has no stopping point. He will shave or brush his teeth or clean the sink for hours. My Daughter-in-law is a retired CNA so I now pay her to come clean and dress him in the morning and prepare him for bed in the evening and help him bathe once a week. It's worth every penny. If it weren't for her I would have to place him in memory care.

I have the same problem with my DH. He stays up all night because he has no stopping point. He will shave or brush his teeth or clean the sink for hours. My Daughter-in-law is a retired CNA so I now pay her to come clean and dress him in the morning and prepare him for bed in the evening and help him bathe once a week. It's worth every penny. If it weren't for her I would have to place him in memory care.

If cognitive or memory issues are preventing Mom knowing the passing of time, then she is no longer independant with bathing.

Not 'feeling time' can happen to people with brain injuries, stroke survivors or those with some dementia.

If I was the aide I would turn the taps off after 20 minutes & hand her a towel.

When volunteering at a NH, there was a resident in the memory care section who could start tasks but could not end them: he would start shaving & just continue endlessless. Staff showed me how to visually distract by moving his tooth brush into his view. Then teeth brushing without end, then hair combing. This we left him to do for 10 or so minutes as low risk. Then putting his watch or fiddling with a newspaper or something else harmless would be his endless task & we could stop assisting. Such a lovely natured man. I thought it was great the staff assisted with his daily routine with subtle by prompts instead of fully taking over.

Another idea (if possible) is to have an OT assessment on Mom's shower routine. OTs can see what is going on & can provide suggestions to improve routines.

Gosh it’s usually the other way around..

o was going to suggest playing her favorite music for 15 moinutes.. when music stops do does the shower..

maybe a red light:green light scenario.. green light flashes, it’s shower time; red light flashes, it’s time to stop…or flash cards… waterproof…

green letters :: GO

red letters:: STOP

She will need assistance with bath time. My daddy wouldn't take one but once I got someone to come in and tell him this is what we are doing now. He did not argue. Also, maybe try just using some single signs with mouthing the words without over annunciating will help example:
wash - now
finish - now
eat - now
you me - friend
bed - now
water - drink

The staff says she has to get out , it’s time to eat ? Or the staff tells her there is a plumbing problem and the water has to be turned off , that it’s leaking into the room next door ?
. Maybe a timer that is a flashing light for deaf people if there is such a thing , when it flashes she gets out.

This is a tough one. Usually you can’t get them to get into the shower .

Your mom now needs assistance with bathing. This may raise her care level somewhat and the cost of her ALF care.

She may also be descending more into dementia and may soon require memory care.

Check with your ALF admins to arrange and discuss her care plan.

Best of luck with this.