First you don't ask "Mom do you want to take a shower" the answer will probably be no. I never asked my Mom I told her, "time for a shower". Make sure the room is warm, I used a small space heater. Have a shower chair. Sit it away from the stream of water. I used a hand held shower head and rinsed Mom down. Then I suds her up and rinse, never the face. Mom could stand so I had her face away from me and spread her legs and washed her with the handheld shower head. She would let me wash her hair but I did it quickly and had a towel handy to wrap her head in and for her to wipe her face. Oh, I gave her a wet washcloth to wash her face. She did not like to use soap. I dried and dressed Mom in the warm room.
My daughter has worked in NHs and says you make them think that they made the decision. When a resident said no to a bath my daughter would say "But Mrs M wouldn't you feel so much better all clean, smelly good and in clean fresh clothes." The resident would say yes and off they would go to shower.
Those suffering from Dementia become like small children a small child don't always like baths.
Thank you. I have tried all of that but she says she feels cold and will do it tomorrow. I've tried turning the heater up, but she still wont go for it. She goes stiff and wont get up and I can't lift her and threatens to hit me. I've tried talking to her POA but they dont seem worried or are hiring someone else to do her bathing. I've called social services and am hoping they can help. I am able to give her a sponge bath to a degree. Any other helpful suggestions?
You have to figure out what mom is afraid of in the shower? Slipping? Getting cold? The water itself? Seeing her reflection in the mirror and thinking it's a stranger? There's always some fear at the core of why they won't bathe. My mom it was the slippery floor so I bought her water shoes on Amazon. The caregivers in Memory Care Assisted Living don't give the residents too much choice in the matter but they do try to help ease their fears as much as possible. Teepa Snow has excellent YouTube videos you can watch about how to handle dementia behaviors in terms of showering. Check them out.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet online about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it. They talk about showers specifically in the booklet as well.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
I don't know how nursing homes handle it except to not take no for an answer and to just jolly the patient along.
I know my mother fought like a tiger against bathingwhen she was still at home, but once she was in a nursing home she was bathed in a shower chair, and they had aides who were really good at bathing the residents quickly and efficiently. They ensured that no water went in my mother's face and I don't know how they washed her hair, but they did that, too without hysterics. She hated having water on her head once dementia crept into her life.
The key is to do it fast so they don't get cold, and keep the water off their face. Have the shower chair, because falls are a real fear, and most important, do it for them rather than try to get them to do it on their own. They never will.
Thank you. Usually she resists by saying she'll catch a cold and will do it tomorrow. Or that she already has. I've tried turning the heater up, but she still wont go for it. She goes stiff and wont get up and I can't lift her and she threatens to hit me. I've tried turning the shower on beforehand when she needs to go somewhere and have tried talking to her to alleviate her fears. I got a handheld showerhead, showerchair, no slip mat, I reassure her and put towels out . I have also talked to her POA about my concerns simve she has no relatives but they dont seem worried or are hiring someone else to do her bathing. I've called social services and am hoping they can help. I am able to give her a sponge bath to a degree. Any other helpful suggestions?
My daughter has worked in NHs and says you make them think that they made the decision. When a resident said no to a bath my daughter would say "But Mrs M wouldn't you feel so much better all clean, smelly good and in clean fresh clothes." The resident would say yes and off they would go to shower.
Those suffering from Dementia become like small children a small child don't always like baths.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet online about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it. They talk about showers specifically in the booklet as well.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
Best of luck to you!
I hope this helps.
I know my mother fought like a tiger against bathingwhen she was still at home, but once she was in a nursing home she was bathed in a shower chair, and they had aides who were really good at bathing the residents quickly and efficiently. They ensured that no water went in my mother's face and I don't know how they washed her hair, but they did that, too without hysterics. She hated having water on her head once dementia crept into her life.
The key is to do it fast so they don't get cold, and keep the water off their face. Have the shower chair, because falls are a real fear, and most important, do it for them rather than try to get them to do it on their own. They never will.