My dad has Wernickes-Korsakoff syndrome and is supposed to have 24 hr care to monitor meds and nutrition. My mother is in a nursing home against her will because of a broken arm coupled with a stroke from 10 years ago that she never recovered from. My mother hounds me every single day calling me hateful and a b**ch because I'm evil for putting her in a home. My dad is currently on the run driving to the town my mom is in. He shouldn't be driving and I have highway patrol looking for him. Needless to say I'm at my wits end. I'm 20 years old and I can't take this anymore. I'm not spending the next decade of my life with people like this. I want to resign as power of attorney but who will pay their bills and whatnot? I travel for my job and I cannot do it. My life has barely started and I'm dealing with this. PLEASE HELP.

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I had to look up W-K syndrome. Thanks for the education and sharing. Yea, I have heard examples of even of father's in their 80s, diagnosed with dementia, and the family still letting them drive around town. That driving risk has far worse implications, I think still, than the fall risk your mother had which leads aging people to an assisted living care facility or a nursing home, when those conditions become the only option.

An elder law attorney is a smart move, given your dilemma. I think the attorney might even recommend you stay on as a POA, but they can hand over the responsibilities to a person who has more experience in these matters. Even the attorney will guide you through a court proceeding, which is filed in your state, and help you obtain a court-appointed Special guardian for the interim. This is done so that the court within 30 days can assess the healthcare management issues you are facing alone with both parents. If you are the only child and listed as POA, I think it may possibly serve you to take a backseat, remain as POA, but let a court-appointed guardian take over the reigns to assist your parents' needs. If there is not enough money, and I mean, real estate, disability income, all financial savings which can be consolidated, including the vehicle that your father is driving, possibly, the elderly law attorney can help you.

I think there is a silver lining here. You can remain as POA if the documents are written as such, as in a trust, but if it is just a basic will, with POA for health and finances, the attorney can review these documents. You need those documents and any other financial numbers you can think of to help professionals help you and your parents.

In 5 years you will be five years older and there is a chance you will be able to handle this situation better once you build a team of support, i.e. attorneys, financial adviser, healthcare physician and/or clinical psychologist, a district court judge in the state you live in, that will ultimately help you with incredible situation you are dealing with.

Take care of yourself. Your mother is not mad at you. She's mad because her health has deteriorated somewhat, but sounds like she still knows who to direct her frustration. These medical conditions are very deceiving and you even social support.

I think you can also hopefully find a healthcare operation that specializes in dementia or Alzheimers or the actual conditions you parents are having, and by speaking to people, in person, about this, that will help to stop the daily grind that has been placed on your shoulders. Guardianship can be obtained possibly and it overrides the POA, but the attorney can explain and offer a recommendation.

I don't know what the costs are, in this specific case, because it is unique, which is why I responded. Sometimes one person, even 20 years old, can accomplish great things, and sounds like you are handling it well. Now build a team to help you succeed. Stay the course. Breathe and sleep. You will get through this.
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Yes, resign as POA. You don't need this responsibility at 20 -- it is inappropriate. Use their money to consult an Elder Law attorney to find out all the options.
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Oh my gosh! You poor thing! Twenty is too young to have that responsibility! Do you know who your parents' attorney is? I'd first ask the attorney if they named a secondary person. Many times people will name a second choice in case the first person is unable to perform those duties. If not, I think you can ask the attorney to take over (you will have to pay them a fee for that service.)

I think you can also ask the state to take guardianship of them, but that is something I don't know about. Hopefully someone else will answer!
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