How have you moved forward with your life after the death of a loved one and being a caregiver?


My husband died four months ago after an 18 month battle with cancer. We had been married 38 years and had no children. My parents both died within the last six years. I was the primary caregiver for my husband and my parents, with my sister’s help. My sister has a husband and three children, so she had a life to step back into completely. I’m going back to work October 1st.



You have had a very rough time. Caring for someone who is dying of cancer is very hard. Grief and mourning are a long process, and you will probably feel better and worse for months if not years. Your heart needs a rest as well as your body. Going back to work is good, but you probably feel lonely at other times. If you can afford it, planning for a long holiday in the spring will help you over the winter. My long trip was 6 weeks on a camping trip into the outback sharing costs with a couple of people who I met on the internet. There are more (respectable) blokes who like camping than there are wives who are into it! It did help. If what you see and do changes every day, you are less likely to get depressed. Perhaps a going on a guided tour could be another option.

You probably realise that eventually you will have to force yourself to take up a new interest, but give yourself time to get there. Can you do something that you won’t have to plan? Decide to go to the theatre or a movie at least once a week? Go out to eat at a new restaurant every week? (Take a book if you don’t want to be bothered by other people)? Offer to take one of your sister’s children to a regular activity, and make yourself talk to other parents there?

Good luck, and be kind to yourself.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to MargaretMcKen

I lost Dad just after Xmas, and I'm still struggling most days. I pray, and I know God is watching out for me, but it still hurts.
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Reply to talkey

God love you - you've been through the loss of your parents and your husband - and watched your husband suffer so. I don't know how to answer your question, but I know you are blessed to have a sister who stood by your side. There's nothing to compare to the bond between sisters. You have made a wise choice to go back to work. It will help you through your grief and give new meaning to your life. I pray you find your workplace a comfort and a place you enjoy being. Time heals all wounds; a friend told me that when I lost my beautiful sister at the age of 37. I didn't believe her, but she was right. I look back now with joy and I treasure the times we shared. Stay strong dear one. It will get better for you. One day at a time .......
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Reply to dlpandjep