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My 93 year old mother needs so much care that it has become unsustainable to keep her in her home. She has OCD and does poorly with even minor changes. Leaving her home and most of her furniture for a small room in assisted living is NOT going to go well.


I need to hear from others who have gone through this to help prepare myself and her.


It would have been a blessing for her to stay in her own home, but she does not qualify for aid, even though she does not have enough for her nursing care.

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This whole situation sounds difficult – will there be enough care in AL? Whatever and whenever she moves, there will be a rough time for both of you until she adjusts. There are some items that are easier to move into a new room. Hanging pictures are an example. It might help if you clear her existing room of many things that can’t be moved, leave in clear view the things that you can move with her, and place a lot of emphasis on them as you talk. Then in a new room there will be more that is familiar, and less to miss. Best wishes
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Where I live, to keep someone in an AL you need at least two years private pay. After 2 years, if they haven't met their quota, you can file for Medicaid and have them pay for her care. Otherwise, when the money runs out she will need to go to LTC where u can file for Medicaid. How advanced is her Dementia? This will determine where she is placed. ALs are limited to what they can do.

She is not going to take to any change. This is very hard for the elderly and more so for those with Dementia. Its now what Mom needs, not what she wants. From your profile, think u need a break. You have done what you could. Your Mom, as my daughter says, has lived past her expiration date. She now need more than u can give.
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