I am a legal assistant, so I've done a great deal of research into this topic, but haven't really discovered any helpful answers or options other than to petition the court for guardianship. My mother does not have dementia, but we think she's afraid to make the change and live with strangers. However, she's telling us now she's going to buy a home in South Vegas (450-500 miles away from us) and hire a caregiver to come a couple times a week. This is not realistic at all.
She can't go shopping, shower, dress or make meals without help. She doesn't drive anymore, she walks with a walker, her hearing is impaired even with a hearing aide, and she's almost completely blind. On top of everything else, she has horrible incontinence (bowel movements). She will not listen to reason, and we've even taken her to go see a couple of places, but she refuses and says she wants her own home and wants to live independently. Even the behavioral nurse and her cardiologist have advised her against this drastic of a move and they suggested an assisted living facility would be ideal for her situation. She says she can take care of herself.
She's delusional and won't listen to any of us. All 4 of us (her children) are telling her how irresponsible it would be for her to just pack up and go that far away. And, speaking of strangers, she knows no one in South Vegas. What can we do? We've tried everything. My sister is caring for her husband who has Parkinson's and this is effecting her health as well. She caters to my mother 24/7, making and delivering her meals to her in her room, giving her medicine to her, changes her sheets and tucks her in bed every night, washes her clothes, cleans her toilet and bathroom several times per day after she's had a bowel movement, drives her to doctor appointments. It goes on and on.
Any suggestions? We know there are geriatric professionals out there, but we're a little tight on funds and she won't voluntarily go see anyone. We've even tried talking to a Catholic priest, as my mother is fairly devoted, even though these days she's not behaving very christian-like. She's become kind of mean, says mean things to my sister, put-downs, my sister just can't take it anymore. She's been living with her for 4 years now. I've pretty much exhausted all avenues on my own but any new ideas or thoughts are appreciated. Thanks!