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Dementia, diabetic, under 80 lbs now. It seems that hospice aide is solely responsible for her. Twice I have gone to visit and once she was in bed, twisted in blankets, soaked in urine. The second time, hospice aide was already there cleaning her up from a fecal bed disaster. It just seems that nothing was done for her until hospice came. She eats almost nothing and that's when I sit with her or hospice aide. I visit twice a week, I'm a friend, she only has a niece that is two hours away that is power of attorney. I know the end is near, but it totally upsets me that there is no dignity for this poor woman in this place. She should have been in a nursing home 2 mos. ago, but assisted living place assured the POA they could handle her (and keep sucking her $) as long as hospice was brought in. Today was the first day she did not know me, but I promised her months ago I would not turn my back on her. I'm helpless to help her, the relative seems to buy whatever sunshine the facility sells her, doesn't visit, no warm clothing (I bought her some), nobody visits but me. The niece basically told me to mind my own business when her aunt had a dramatic change after anesthesia for surgery, and I voiced my concern about the change. Thank God for hospice, but they are only there once a day.

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By the way, bless you for what you are doing for this woman. It's very sad that her family doesn't care enough to check on her well-being and do what needs to be done to make sure she gets the appropriate care.
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Reply to Caregiverhelp11
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She needs more attention, and to get that, she needs to be in a Skilled Nursing Facility.
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I have heard of several people with similar stories - sometimes families and residents are in denial about the level of care that a person needs at the end of life and adamantly insist that they want to remain in their familiar home but just as often the AL has made promises that they can not keep. Both scenarios result in anguish for compassionate staff who just can not provide the care required and improperly treated pain and suffering at end of life for individuals. Is there any possibility that extra independent caregivers can be hired to take up the slack?
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