My DH has been diagnosed with cerebral Lukedystrophy and Vascular Dementia...he appears normal to carry on conversations...but he has lost short term memory and has cognitive issues...i.e. can’t follow directions...forgets how to use his cell phone, turn on the TV, can’t figure out how to use oven/microwave (too dangerous), can’t do his medication. I’ve been caring for 2 years and I am worn out. I did caregiving for my folks for 11 years. How do I express to him he needs to go into Assisted Living. He sticks to me like glue and I need a break. And I’m having a hard time feeling guilty that I just am dog tired. Our kids now realize my health is declining and they realize I am suffering poor health.
Any advice?
There are levels of dementia in Memory Care. The people you see slumped over have the greatest needs.
If it’s a good MC, they will tailor activities to your husband’s needs.
Best wishes!
If you placed him in AL there is a good possibility that you would have to move him in a short period of time and that might just disrupt him and confuse him more.
If your husband is a Veteran it is possible that the VA might have some suggestions and depending on where and when he served he may qualify for a little help or a LOT.
Depending on how much your husband understands and retains a detailed explanation might not be necessary. You can tell him that the doctor said he had to live someplace else. He may not retain the why's of the move.
You are doing right by him and yourself. He needs 24/7 care and you can not care for him and yourself if you are exhausted. Greater risk of getting hurt or hurting him.
You might begin by saying that you can no longer keep him safe. Or, that the doctor says that he needs to be in a safer place. We have told both of these to my mother, who is in Memory Care now.
I know that there are posters who have had to move their spouses. They can speak more to that situation.
Best wishes to you.