I am the only one who changed everything to care for my aunt after my uncle died they never had kids. I love my aunt and 3 years later I find myself still here. she is 92 years old. I do get money she insisted and glad now I did finally accept as it helps me to maintain what I call my vacation studio apt. 2 hours away $1,500 month. My problem is when I excepted this drastic change since no one else stepped up I was told by some relatives how much they appreciate me. and would help out sometimes. Well this is the rub when they visit it is just 4 social and my aunt enjoys that. so I don't fuss when helping me out is complaining to my aunt behind my back more then once about how bad the stove looks. never mind that i cook burgers 4 them and half the time offer hosting out of habit to guests. if I don't leave I am the host as they are my relatives too. It can get lonely 2hours from my studio home. i also clean up wash after they leave town sink full. I don't complain because I don't want the drama and except i guess if my aunt is happy with visits I weigh that as the cost of being a "Caregiver". I am very sore that when one of the relatives who is not even a blood relatives but married in is the only one that thanks me from time 2 time for my sacrificing as the 20 other relatives never mention athank you when I see them. who always says she will help out and i appreciate that, But when my aunt comes to talk to me about trashing me behind my back and how it made her feel so insulted for her insult. she isnt even a blood relative but I don't want to say anything that may hurt the only person who says thank you for being here caring. I find out she was complaining by my 92yr. old aunt her friend as well and my aunt shot back at her in-defense of me that she did not like her insulting her by going on about the greasy stove. my aunt much 2 her credit defended me laminating how much I do for her keeping up this big house and maintaining repairs I fix everything 2 save $ for my aunt who is not wealthy. My aunt can only do so much and stuff like cleaning a greasy stove is not one of them, I cant do all things like multitasking chores and keep up with 4 emergcy trips and staying hours w/aunt just in the last 2 months. Every time a visit is expected from a relative comes I make sure the bathrooms sparkle. Why is there idea of helping is insulting to my 92yr. old aunt how messy her stove is it disturbs my frail aunt. to the point that she tells me about it after they eat and run. Please tell me how I can discuss this behavior as not (helping out) without to much drama as i have enough. When is it ok to shoot one back and still make it known that I am a relative of this family and at least deserve respect in kind. If just a visit is helping out them hosting a feed. Then im the sucker. Respect is respect after all I am a relative not servant. I am hosting a night vacation at the best western and maid cleaning up after they left the comp breakfast. I love my aunt but something's got to give---back. It just floors me and I don't say nothing for sake of a argument. Help.