My father has advancing Liver cancer with bone mets. He is currently in the hospital and was admitted for a biopsy and a paracentesis for ascites. The hospital allows visitors for 12 hours a day. My sisters feel that he "needs" one of us there during the entire 12 hours of visiting hours while he is IN THE HOSPITAL because (I am using exact phrasing from my sister) "The nurses do not stay in the room with him. " I am at my wits end, I told her that I understand the nurses do not stay in the room but he has a BUTTON to summon anyone whenever he needs anything. I am in the middle of a move- I live over an hour away and I just finalized my divorce days ago and I have to be out of the marital home by a deadline and yet they seem to be oblivious to this and expect me to drop everything to go sit with him at the hospital and do shifts instead of just going for a visit. I went the other day to do a "shift" (yes they call them shifts - of 6 hours ) my dad slept the entire time and I literally sat there and watched him sleep. My father eats it up- he said that the hospital is "Missing the boat not allowing visitors to stay OVERNIGHT!!" I feel guilty. Trapped by feeling resentment that my family has no understanding of what is going on in my life right now and even said that I could just let things go and go spend time with my dad. Now the doctors wanted to send him home 2 days ago- my dad said he is not ready . He refused a nursing home for rehab., He has a fracture of his ankle as well and really cannot manage at home, He will be discharging to my sister's home and I worry that he will fall there and that they will not be able to manage him. Both of my sisters live in the same town as my dad. They have always treated him as a child who needs to be taken care of and when my mother was in the hospital (10 years of dealing with a brain tumor) we were always at the hospital expected to sit WITH MY DAD at the hospital because he wanted to stay there with my mom. So we were expected to also go keep him company when he did. As well as go stay at their house to help with my mom. I did this over the 10 year period . And I am a nurse! So I was the one to go set up all of the meds - do the discharge planning etc. Then my sisters would say that I think I am above them because I am "medical" !! I can't win here . I am not working right now (was laid off as I worked as a medical rep and we are not allowed in the hospitals) and I will also be having to search for a job on top of my move and divorce.. I feel so overwhelmed. I love my dad. But I honestly think my family is severely dysfunctional and that my father has learned helplessness because he gets tons of attention- and my sisters have a weird need to be the "good ones" . My one sister posts all about my dad on Facebook. That is how my daughter found out her grandfather was even in the hospital- on Facebook. And she posted this before I even knew... I have a brother who lives 4 hours away - he comes in stays with my dad at the house and does fix it things and keeps him company as well but he comes in when he can and has a wife who can take care of his house and pets while he is at dad's. I am sure they all feel that I am awful. I am on my own. I have no one to take care of things for me while I go sit with my dad and yet they make me feel like I am not doing my part. When I call my dad he doesn't even answer his phone - THEY do for him. And he never calls me back- or answers any texts to check in on him. This is not only now but whenever I have called or texted. I literally feel like I chase him to see how he is . My youngest sister calls him "her dad" when she talks to me. I feel like it is the Twilight Zone. Am I crazy here or is this beyond normal? All I see online regarding siblings and caregiving is "What to do when a sibling will not help with care" as if when you do not this makes you a horrible person.