Does anyone else feel that their mother treats their sons differently than daughters?

My mother has always favored my son over my daughter and makes no bones about it. Part of it is the generation..........they think men are better than women, in general, and part of it is the narcissistic tendencies, treating the boys/men like the golden children they AREN'T. My daughter does MUCH more for her grandmother than my son, yet the sun rises and sets on HIM. My DD is a second class citizen in her eyes, as I am, and that's how it will always be. She says foul things to both of us women, yet heaps the praise on my son who doesn't deserve it. In fact, she heaps praise on my EX HUSBAND saying that 'he did so many wonderful things for me' when in reality, it was ME who did the wonderful things, not him! She feels like it was 'his money' that paid for the 'wonderful things' not mine..........see where I'm going with this?

It's a no win situation so don't bother trying. Your brother will always be the golden child to your parents..........the less he does, the more golden he shall be. Unfair and stupid as hell, but typical.

Raising my hand in disgust of my mom & dad’s sexist, unfair “preference” for me as 100% caregiver, mommy & cheerleader. (They never did this for me as a kid.)

My brother’s too busy doing things around the house (drinking alcohol & smoking cannabis) to help. He reeked of one or the other until I pointed it out. Now he smells like cheap drugstore cologne.

I bailed last month on all three until things change. I’m not holding my breath, except for the stench of pot or Old Spice.

Thanks, OP, for this. It’s an injustice to hardworking adult daughters. Should be a rallying cry for change.

I have read all these posts and I myself have a brother who did absolutely nothing to help care for both parents before they died. WE NEED TO LISTEN TO OURSELVES HERE. Make sure we are not raising these kinds of sons. It needs to start when they are children. Do not wait until they are grown to "expect them to do the right thing", when we never trained them to act that way.

I’ve answered to this so many times I’m weary of it. My entire family life was about being treated differently because I was female. I saw a shrink about it, managed to tell them (nicely) about it, and a little changed. Bottom line is my mother, when older & needing help, still expected everything of me, and nothing of her sons: they were her idols; I was her servant.
I did as much for her as I felt was reasonable, hired a helper here & there - whom she would then fire. Then I told her I was hiring someone to take care of certain things and, that if she fired this person, these things would not be done. I had to lay down the law. You have to draw boundaries.
Things are changing these days but I was born into the old order; as the only girl, it was not fun.

I'm pretty certain this is a natural phenomenon among humans. Fathers and sons . .fight. Mothers and daughters . .fight.

Mothers and sons . . .best friends. Fathers and daughters . . best friends.

Something I've observed my whole life with other families. It seems to be an anomaly when a mother and daughter get along like BFF's . . or fathers and sons.

I'm pretty sure you're not alone with this situation. Hell, even my mom liked my husband more than me. Yeap. Only child/daughter here. My mom practically ignored me when both of us visited her. Still , not easy to take, is it. *sigh*

Wow. I never knew how common this is. Grew up with learning how unfair life is. I was the oldest of 3. Only daughter. The 2 sons were my narcissist father's favorites. My whole life everything I accomplished or did for parents was never enough. I never asked for help. They gave my brothers so much. Guess who ended up with all the caregiving responsibilities when they got old, feeble and even more abusive? Yup. Me. Brothers off living their carefree lives. Folks gone now, finally over. I was the dutiful daughter and at least i have the last laugh. I am the sole trustee of their estate. I paid myself back for a lot of what i spent on their care. I will wait the full year before I disburse their portion of inheritance and then no more contact with toxic family. I'm done. They burned the bridge and then wonder why I don't visit. "Blood ain't thicker than peace of mind." Thankfully I don't have kids to burden and I have made plans for my care when the time comes.

The nature of the beast....Some mom's are just stuck with the expectation that boys are "better than" and girls are still somehow the responsible ones for all things household and caregiving. Doesn't matter that we still have careers, manage to raise families, run households, AND yet, still are responsible for their demands. Or that many have reached retirement age and when it's time to enjoy life a bit and dote on the grand babies, we are expected to be at their beck and call.

"Life isn't fair" and we have all experienced our share of just how profound that statement is. When favoritism among siblings rears it's ugly head we can either ignore it, fight it, or accept it for what it is. My brother is useless when it comes to helping out, and has been a financial drain (not because of necessity) on my parents. BUT....rest assured, when all is said and done he will be first in line with his hand out to get his share of the estate. I've resolved to help my parents as best to my ability without compromising my own health and well being. I won't do more. They chose to put my brother's selfish wants ahead of being fair to their daughters. I will never put my kids through the pain of thinking for one second that I played favorites.

Yes, sadly. I always felt that my parents preferred my brother because he is practically minded whereas I am bookish. My mum says it's too much for my brother to drive a 45-mile round trip to visit her but expects us to take her wherever she needs to go and offers us no help with the fuel. She has also given my brother and sister-in-law money over the years for cars or home improvements (they earn more than we do but are a bit wasteful), whereas we seldom get offered anything. I don't want or need her money, by the way; just don't appreciate the apparent unfairness. We are about to have a second granddaughter and my mum said she wishes it was a boy.

Absolutely! In my case, it was my MIL treating her son and myself so differently.

I remember a Monday morning that I called her (make sure she made it through the night since she was still asleep when I left). When she answered, she let me know that she needed an enema. I told her I was at work 30 minutes away and couldn't bring her one until later. I also asked her why she didn't tell me she needed one the night before.

That didn't go over well and it got to the point of her yelling at me, "If I get impacted, it's going to be your fault!! Then, how much time will you have to take off work to take me to the hospital?!"

I suggested that she call her son and ask him to get the enema for her since he was closer to home.

Her reply? "He can't do it. He needs to go to work."

Fortunately, I called my hubby, he got the enema, and set his mom straight that my job is important also.

MIL was from the generation that women did the caregiving. That got old since I was the only female in the house and she assumed I would do it all.

I'm trying hard to raise my three boys with different expectations for themselves and women.

Funny that you should ask this, I was just thinking about it the other day. My brother was definitely the golden boy. He was nine years older and could do no wrong until he married a woman my mother didn't like. His wife didn't like her either so it was mutual. My parents were divorced and we had no relatives close so I was my mother's fall-back. She became much closer to me and we ended up with what in Chicago is known as a two-flat so she had her own apartment and my children went back and forth with her a lot. It all went pretty well until it became evident she was failing and we went through the progressively more intense steps and the reality that she was coming to the point where she wasn't safe at home. When it finally came to the point of looking at memory care I called my brother and asked if he was interested in helping me with placement or did he want Mom near him. Neither he nor his wife were at all interested so it fell to me. I was able with Mom's last shred of cognitive abilities to take her to an elder law attorney and created an irrevocable trust to protect her. It was hard placing her at first but she seemed to acclimate very well and the people were very kind. My brother came into town occasionally and always wanted to "do lunch" with Mom, which for her was pureed something. She did very well for several years and finally passed in her late 80's. Brother never asked in all the years about Mom's finances which were actually pretty good due to inheritance and some shrewd stock buys. I had a stockbroker friend who handled her stocks and believe it or not, private pay for 7 years and she never lost any money. Guess by the way who was her selected inheritor.

Her last years weren't the best but we did what we could and she slipped away peacefully in her sleep.