I don't even know what category to put this in.
I'll try and be as direct as I can.
There is a family friend who helped care for my grandfather when he was sick up until he died. That same person needed a place to stay so I figured it couldn't hurt and I could use the extra rent money and I know I could make it dirt cheap for him compared to what he has before.
But I very quickly realized he needs a LOT of help. Sure, he can bathe himself, feed himself (though he only cooks literally one thing, and otherwise only makes sandwiches and such), etc. But otherwise he's completely dependent on others.
He had zero idea on how to pay his own bills, zero idea how to use his phone if a name isn't already in the contacts, can't even schedule his own doctor appointments or call in his own prescriptions. He can't drive. And if you try to attempt at getting him to cook anything other than his sandwiches or crockpot "goulash", even as simple as a box of Mac n cheese, he is completely lost. He can BARELY manage to shop for himself. He's on disability and Medicaid.
My aunt helped him for a few years and I'm almost feeling like she pawned him off on me, so to speak, without giving me the details that he needed all of this extra assistance.
I, myself, am pending disability after near working myself to death (quite literally) and am a single father with custody of my kids and I'm restoring the house because I bought it cheap "as is". So I'm already pretty strapped for time and attention.
Now, we've since figured out an apartment for him, but my phone is absolutely blowing up from him needing this and that and I can't keep running out to him when I've got so much else going on.
It's not that I don't want to help. It's that I can't. Again, single dad, two kids living with me, I'm awaiting disability myself due to injuries, and I can't keep up with it all and I need to focus on my kids first.
My family has taken care of this man, who isn't even related to us, for four years or more. I'm unsure the extent of his family but I do know he has a daughter and granddaughter, but they've done nothing to help him.
He's a good guy. And I've been doing my best at making time for him, but I can't raise my kids, take care of my household, AND care for someone elderly who isn't even related to me. His family needs to step up or I need to find more options for his care. His Medicaid covers tech assistants that can take him shopping or help him get his meds, whatever, but I also have been around him long enough to know he will refuse that help. But the longer time goes on, the more dependent on me he's become.
At what point is enough enough? My state does have laws in place that obligate people to care for their elderly direct family members whether directly or financially, but I don't want to seem like a jerk for getting all legal with it. And I know if I try to involve social services to get him some help, he's going to refuse it.
He can't keep getting more dependent on me with my own declining health and needing to raise my kids. I'm not qualified to do so. I literally don't have the physical stamina to do it because of my own injuries.
I'm just at a loss. If my health was better or I didn't have custody of my kids then I'd have the physicality and the time, but I don't. I don't mind helping, but it's becoming less help and becoming more dependent.
I don't know what to do.