I cook and clean for my 66 year old step father and my 74 year old mother. For 5 years my step dad has had explosive diarrhea but he won't be honest with his doctor. He did cut his Metformin from 1000mg to 500mg but the diarrhea is back with a vengeance. Not only does he poop in his pants but he won't change his clothes after & he leaves feces on the toilet we share (despite him having his own bedroom and bathroom he refuses to sleep in). I've had loving conversations about his lack of bowel and bladder control. He'll behave for a day then it's back to poop on the toilet, in his pants and literally splattered on walls. He weighs over 500 lbs and refuses to change his diet. My mom has talked to him as well, which always ends in a brutal screaming match and her in tears. We're mortified to be in public with him and now no one invites them to do anything social because of his smell, no one has furniture that can hold him and he only showers when we force him. Mentally there's not a dang thing wrong with him other than he grew up in a hollow and he sees nothing wrong with his behavior. I've literally sat in his feces in the middle of the night not knowing he left the toilet dirty. My mother didn't raise me like this and the fact she refuses to leave him, not because she's in love with him but rather she says she couldn't live with herself if he died alone in crap filled pants infuriates me. This happens everytime he puts food in his mouth which is 24/7. I cook dinner and I try to cook healthy and buy healthy lunch and breakfast foods but he complains and just indulges in whatever fat/sugar filled treat he's drug into the house. How can an adult human being have such little regard for himself and those that take care of him? I'm beyond angry! Try cooking a wonderful dinner only to be scraping feces off walls and the toilet seat 15 minutes later. He refuses to be honest with his doctor too! The other day I caught him using my hair dryer to dry the front of his Jean's WHILE HE WAS WEARING THEM! He was too lazy to change them before leaving the house. Do you have any idea how difficult it is as an adult child to have to repeatedly ask your step father of 27 years to stop CRAPPING on the walls, toilet, rugs and floor? Do I move out and force them to hire help? I'm in a constant state of depression and find myself cussing under my breath everytime he tries to talk to me. I'm not sure I can have even 1 more conversation with him about his bowel and urinary incontinence without losing my temper! I'm at my wits end and tired of crying myself to sleep knowing I'm going to wake up to a feces redecorated bathroom. Like I said he has the only bedroom in the house with a private bathroom but he refuses to sleep in it and he sleeps in his recliner right outside my bedroom. He won't let me have his bedroom either (even though my mother paid in full by herself for the house 13 yrs ago because she was going to leave him) he has a home too and rents it out for next to nothing. I've begged my mom to tell him he has to go! She's miserable too but she doesn't want to be viewed as heartless for forcing him to leave but I'm way passed that. I only moved in to help her because she's getting very frail and feel I'm totalling being taken for granted. I must sound horrible but it's been 5 YEARS of cooking and cleaning up after someone I'm not even married to. My sister is too busy with her church to come help... ironic as that is. I've been as kind as I can but I just don't know what to do anymore. I am desperate to find a solution that doesn't require me to abandon my mother. They've become a full time job (without costing them anything). I'm praying someone out there understands my plight and can help me! Everyday is like living in a nightmare... it never ends!