My husband has been very spoiled all his life, and had everything his way. How do I get control without losing it?

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He can't drive, of course, but can't remember the doctors told him. Can't remember where he puts things and that is how we spend our day. He doesn't believe he's declining etc. How have any of you gotten control of a spoiled grown-up if you could call him a grown up. Can't quite put my finger on his age - knows some of the family but has lost some also.

I guess I just need a little insight/HELP. Thank You

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shsh151, your hubby was the manager at work, but remember you are the manager of the household :)

I have a spoiled grown-up in my household who's been that way all his life according to his family, his Mom had spoiled him and so did his late wife.... oops, he met me, I am an only child and I don't like to share :P

If he wants something done and I know he is fully capable of doing it, I stall to a point where he finally does it himself. But if he does something nice for me, like I come home from work and find the rugs were vacuum, the next day I will empty the litter boxes for him. It's all trial and error.
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You convince him that all the good ideas are HIS. You find his XXXX and give it to him with a kiss and a cup of coffee and tell him the dog must have taken it. All men are ten-year old boys at heart.
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Even non-managers who are "losing it" want everything their own way. Their lives become totally about me-me-me. And they don't CARE about you-you-you. ;) So you have to.

You just have to get used to repeating the same things over and over and over again. And, if you don't want a fight? Every time you say the same thing over, pretend it's the first time. I've found, with my mom, that she responds to a friendly smile MUCH better than with a mad face.

It's taken me a while to figure that out, though. Example: Mom sometimes wakes up at 5:30 AM and I hear her calling me...banging the bed rails..."I'm THIRSTY!!! Won't ANYBODY!!!! bring me a glass of water????!!!"

Well, I'd go in there with a mad face and say, "Lordy, mom!! It's 5:30 in the morning. Here's your **** water. Now go back to sleep!!!!"

This didn't end well. Hahahaha!! In fact, the way it ended was me hauling her out of bed at 5:45 to keep her quiet. Me-Me-Me-Me-Me-Me!!!!

So now....Master Manipulator Maggie goes in with a big (albeit tired) smile, says "Morning, mom!!! I just heard you. Let me get that poor little thing some water!!"

When she's had her water, I'll say something like, "Mom, Tom's still asleep, and it's pretty early. How about we stay in bed another half hour?"

"Okay!!!"

Honey. As hard as it is to leave the vinegar out of the recipe, try your best. You just MAY find this makes some small difference. And sometimes? That's all we can hope for.
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