My Dad (85) attempted suicide 2 weeks ago. He is now extremely hostile to spouse of 65 years but acts normal to rest of family. Any advice?

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Telling mom he wants a divorce and that it is all her fault. Very vulgar accusations to mom and says he no longer loves her. He seems obsessed she is having an affair with her brother, yes, her brother. Mom is 86. He shot himself in the head, but the bullet deflected off his scull, he has stitches, but no damage that is reflected in CT scans. He is completely normal to the rest of the family. Why is he becoming obsessive and paranoid about mom only, has anyone seen behaviors like this? He takes pain meds for chronic back pain and also nerve medications. He is now starting antidepressants as well.

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I have the feeling the missmydad has left the building.
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Actually, hang on.

Your father shot himself - albeit unsuccessfully, which is somehow even more poignant - in the head two weeks ago. Stitches at ER, CT scan. And then..? A man shoots himself in the head, they stitch him up, have a shufti at his brain and… send him home???

Surely not. What happened next?
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Yes, Pam, I was going to say "you have taken the gun off him, haven't you."

What pain meds, please?

Were some of these behaviours going on before the suicide attempt, or is the whole shebang all new? If it's new, this sounds like some kind of acute psychosis (which could be related to a build-up of certain pain meds, if his kidneys aren't working too well) and I'm surprised the men in white coats haven't already taken him into protective custody. If it's been building up over a while, then what is his MD doing?

I'd be asking a lot of searching questions if I were you. After I'd got my mother to a place of safety, that is.
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Yes, of course you miss your Dad. He is not there any more. Your profile says it is general age related decline. It certainly sounds like more than that. Did the testing show that he may have had a stroke? Did they check him for a UTI, that alone could cause his delusional behavior.

However, I have to agree with everyone here. He requires further examination in a geriatric psych facility. Does anyone live with them? Everyone could potentially be in danger. Get him away from anybody that is not able to control him. And by all means make sure every weapon is removed from the house!
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That he attempted suicide lets you know that things are not normal. Someone has to be delving into the psychotic to do it. His body apparently did not agree with the suicide attempt, so saved itself. It is strange how the body has a mind of its own like that.

If it has only been two weeks and he has the delusion that his wife is cheating on him with her brother, he needs to be committed for observation. It sounds like he is having trouble sorting through the things he is seeing and thinking. Something is going on, perhaps in the frontal or temporal area of his brain. I do not know if it can be treated, but it is worth a try. I would try to keep my mother away from him until his mind changes. You don't want to put her through the trauma of dealing with it. Please let us know what happens.
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Where has be been in the last two weeks? Has he been in a psychiatric ward, under observation and treatment?

Has his behavior been erratic in the time leading up to this event? Some dementia does manifest itself with extreme paranoia and delusions of loved ones behaving terribly, such as stealing funds or having an affair.

I hope all possible weapons are out of the house.

I agree that Dad should be out of the house, too -- that he needs supervision and treatment to control his rages. Exactly where he should go might depend on what happened after they stitched up his head wound. Do you have a diagnosis from that period?

Please give us a little more information. My heart breaks for all of you. Separating Mom and Dad after all these years is awful. But it may very well be necessary.

Keep fully in mind that it is not your father in his right mind who is behaving this way. But your mother still needs protection from him.
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I'll bet the guns are still in the house too. Red alert! red alert!
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Exactly my thought, Pam. I wouldn't care WHAT was causing it. Mom is unsafe. He belongs in a psych ward right this minute. This is a tragedy waiting to happen, MissMyDad, make no mistake about it.

You're right to miss dad. He's not there anymore. Your dad's probably got 20 years or more on me, and I wouldn't sleep in the same house with him. Much less your poor lil' mom.

If they get him in a psych unit, they'll check his meds, check his chemistry, take a complete history, etc., etc. They may get to the bottom of a pharmaceutical problem...they may not. It may be that his dementia is manifesting itself in a violent and aggressive way.

He is not to be trusted. He is not safe around your mom.
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Take the key and lock him up, lock him up, just like the old song.
Get Mom the heck out of there until he is secured.
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